Passion & Purity

I apologize for the anger-ball-ness of the previous post. I had just had one of those experiences that make one regret putting so much time and effort into a friendship. I hate to make this blanket statement, but guys can be so blind to the fact that although they may need to make proclamations, said proclamations can be rather hurtful to a girl.  Things like, "You were there for when I needed you for certain things like cheering me on or someone to talk to but I don't need those things any more," or a more distant version, "I just don't have a place for you in my life any more." Somehow, guys (exes, to be specific) seem to think that instead of just gracefully letting a relationship go, they have to say these things that they think is the right thing to do, to do right by their soon-to-be wife/fiancee, but it is hurtful to hear. Be a gentleman, for goodness' sake, and just let the emotional and physical distance do its work. We are smart ladies, we don't need it to be spelled out for us. And besides, spelling it out in that way will ensure that you will get something thrown at you.

I don't know how I came by Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot in my early teens, but it is one of few books I have read and re-read throughout the years. It speaks of virginity and restraint that one must uphold in a dating relationship and yeah I know I'm married and all now, but I also think that Elisabeth and Jim's courtship and marriage story is a beautiful, romantic one. Seriously, if you can get your hands on anything written by either Elisabeth or Jim Elliot, you will not be disappointed. Even now, her words and the Word in it continue to be relevant.

Anyway, I read a passage today that really spoke to me...Elisabeth received a letter from a woman who had met an amazing guy who "had walked into her life, given her every reason to believe he was crazy about her, then drifted off into someone else's life. He had the chutzpah to come back from time to time to tell her how his new girl was "filling voids" in his life which no one else had ever filled. (What rubbish, I thought, what ails a man who would do such a thing? WHat ails the woman who will listen?)" then then Elisabeth includes verbatim the letter from the woman and is as follows, "The Lord has brought about growth in me through knowing him, something I cannot regret, though there have been times when I wished I'd never met him. I have to give him to the Lord regularly...I've told the Lord I want to be an obedient servant, and He shot back, 'And are you willing to face grief and pain or whatever it takes for Me to make you that?' Even though I felt unable, I said, 'what choice do I have? I know too much to drop the ball now. There's no turning back.' I'd belying if I said I wasn't afraid. But He has brought me this far and already my joy is unspeakable."

Even now, typing those words, different things stand out to me. I am admittedly not very good at letting things go, especially in the areas of past hurt relationships. It hurts me deeply to hear others put those relationships in a box so that they may move on, when I have a hard time cramming all that very real emotional into a box. Or in some cases, burning that box. Relationships that were not only romantic but even family relationships, friendships. I am learning though that there is a difference between letting one's habits be formed and continued because of those relationships or learning from them, and giving them over to God. It's not easy, and if anyone out there has figured it out or has walked a similar path, how have you triumphed over it?