fighting the blahs

and, in other news I started reading several things as of late - I cannot get enough bookage at the moment. I'm quite in the middle of ALL of following:

This book...wow...makes you look at your closet in a whole new way.

got the above book because it was mentioned in "7" - hoping to start a weekly Shabbat. Me and the hubs have been talking about it for years. It should've been one of my resolutions.

It is because of this book and then checking out this blog right here that I have hereby resolutely and definitively decided to have a sunnier outlook on life and quit taking myself so seriously. Yes, even if I've been barfed on 4 times, yes, even if I'm blue on the edges from the weirdness of motherhood. I really am blessed, and it's high time I start acting like it. Even if I have to fake it 'til I make it.

yoga-licious

Okay so I know one of my resolutions is to do yoga once a week, and I assumed that it meant I would be going to classes once a week. However, I recently ordered some yoga DVDs to do here at home because -get this- the hubs is going to be doing the yogas with me! I figure I can do one a day, depending on when I wake up and when/if the nugget sleeps. I have found that moving my body, breathing, all that stuff, helps center my brain and my heart so that I can face everything else with a little more joy. I'm stoked that my tall-dark-and-handsome will be doing this as well because I think it'll be a good stress reliever. Plus he's about as flexible as a 2x4.

Some other stuff I'm doing is writing in my journal every day, which helps me filter a lot of the endless stream of consciousness in my head and get it out. What came out yesterday was the concept of being replaced. I suppose this isn't a particularly fair assessment, because I know that once I became a mama, things changed...friendships changed...I changed. I consider myself to be a very loyal friend, and am glad in some ways that I am the first of my Dallas friends (ie the ones I see all the time) to have a kid because I have so much perspective now, and know how to be a better friend...not just to other mamas but just in general. In some ways it's been hard though because I have had to find community with other mamas, which meant doing a lot of work getting to know new people and families and doing that whole 'need a friend? be a friend' thing. I am generally viewed as an outgoing, bubbly person, but at my core I am an introvert and very rooted in my friendships so when I was faced with having to find a new support system FAST, I was overwhelmed. I dove in, and thankfully have found some incredible friends pretty much in my own back yard and have had the opportunity to connect with some old friends online who are now moms. Thank you Facebook.

The thing is that it still hurts is not knowing that the carefree, spontaneous days have dwindled, but more than that is seeing and hearing about close friends doing things that I used to do with them...things that they no longer think to invite me to. Which is just as well in a lot of cases - my hours of happiness are usually spent fixing dinner and having a dance party with/attempting to feed and sometimes getting food thrown at me by my baby girl. 

And the late nights, I've already learned the hard way, are just not an option any more. Staying out is fun and great, but it's as if they know, and every time without fail that's the night your sweet angel will wake up bright eyed and rarin' to go at 3am. And you WILL have a headache from the bubbly, and you WILL hate life. It is just NOT worth it. I get that, and I spent a lot of time in college having the time of my life and watching the sunrise. It's time to move along to other things. It's just that (ugh I can't believe I'm saying this) I miss my old girlfriends, and like to think that maybe I'm not just viewed as a mama now. It's a constant battle in my head - part of me wants to type "so what if you are?! quit your bellyaching and enjoy the ride!" and then the sensitive overly analytical side wants to be all "pity? party of one? your table's ready." I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that when I was prego I was really, really sick, and really, really flaky because I just could not figure out when I was going to be okay and when I was going to be queasy.

So anyway. Every day is a learning experience and I am thankful for the moms I have met this past year that have helped me along. I don't know if I've mentioned this before but right when I decided to stay home with Addy I had lunch with one of my husband's coworkers who I greatly admire and she said something that has stuck with me - that being a stay at home mom "can be really isolating." I found that statement to be so weird because everyone says "It takes a village!" - which, it truly does. What they don't tell you is that a lot of times (maybe just in Western culture?) the village doesn't just appear, you have to go out and build it yourself.

Anyone out there with or without kiddos who can relate?

meatballs.

A few years ago we came across this recipe for delightful winter pork balls and chard. It is probably the most requested dish I get from the hubby, and I generally oblige happily. On a recent road trip, whilst planning this week's menu he mentioned he'd like for me to make them, but wanted to find a way to get the same flavors but with less meat. 

Let's just say I nailed it. 

Here's what I did: 

1. Cook up a pot of white beans (I forgot to soak them last night, let's hope we're not too gassy for it) - like, as much as you would get in a 15oz can. I'm still on the dry beans kick. SO ECONOMICAL. Drain them in a colander and set aside.

2. Brown 1/4 lb pork in a medium sized pot. Add a splash of olive oil.  Throw half a chopped red onion on top, along with three or four cloves of garlic, stir.

3. Chop up a bunch of mushrooms into bite-sized pieces and add those to the pot. Add salt and pepper, a dash of cumin, some Caldo de Pollo (yes, I know it has MSG, yes I know it's not vegetarian ((neither is the sausage)) but I'm trying to use it up so I can get it out of my house. I have a problem with throwing away perfectly good food), and add a pinch of cinnamon. You can add more later if you feel like you need it. 

4. Stir it all up, and let the flavors combine a bit. I am adept at scorching pans, so I usually sautee things until they are browning the pan, then I add a little water, let the water cook out, add more water, and so it goes. When you get tired of this, add 4 cups of water, and add in the beans.

5. Bring to a boil, then let simmer at least half an hour to however long to get it to the consistency you like. I don't like my soups to be super runny, but not too thick.

6. Grab some bright lights chard out of your garden or a bunch from the store and tear the leaves from the stems with your hands. Toss the chard leaves into the soup pot and let them cook until the leaves turn bright green, about 5-10 minutes. You don't want to overly wilt the chard.

7. Grab some crusty bread and go to town!

In other news, I joined a local Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) group called Urban Acres! Every other weekend we get a half share (15lbs) of local, organic produce! I'm super excited! I participated in one while I interned in Austin and it was absolutely wonderful - especially the part where you never really knew what was going to show up in your bin. I can't wait to see what the local farms have to offer!

there's an app for that

Margaret Mason over at Mighty Girl (holy cow that woman has a lot to say) posted this about apps to help you keep your resolutions. You know, in case you're not so great at that purely intrinsic motivation thing.

This weekend was an epic failure in the raw veganism department. I had breakfast tacos at least 10 times in 2 days (I mean, we were in Austin) and then at my friend's son's birthday, it was a "ball" theme so you best believe I not only put away a hamburger (for shame!) but equal to or more than my weight in sausage balls. Eesh. I heard on NPR last night that a lady quit smoking by her friend telling her that every time she smoked a cigarette she was going to send $5,000 to the KKK. That's my kind of motivation.

In other news, yesterday we came home with the intention of going to the grocery store but then my hubs got a gleam in his eye...the one that says "We have enough food. Let's just create something out of what we have here." If there's something sexier than a man who will roast garlic just for funsies on a Sunday night, I dare you to show it to me.

Here's what we had:

1 butternut squash

bright lights chard from the garden

LOTS of garlic

leftover pasta

pine nuts

spinach

red onions & green onions

1 portobello mushroom

herbs from the garden: rosemary, thyme, parsley

We took the butternut squash, peeled it and cubed it into 1" pieces, then tossed it with olive oil and salt and pepper and roasted it in the oven on 450F for 10-15 minutes, then cut the mushroom up and added it to the pan in the oven. At the same time, we popped a couple ends-cut-off, olive oil drizzled, foil-wrapped garlic(s?) in the oven. While I fed baby A, he sauteed the red onions and chard stems on the stove, then added everything else including the yumminess from the oven and sauteed it a bit to combine all the flavors. I'd leave you with a picture but, uh, I ate the last bit of it for lunch. It was crazy good. 

My favorite thing in the world is cooking like that - deciding to forego the store and make it work with what you've already got. Is there a stroke of culinary genius you've had in a pinch like this? Please share!

fingers to the bone

Welp, I was going to open my Etsy shop on January 1st buuuuut...let's face it. The Christmas cards aren't even out yet and I feel like I have been on a Tilt-A-Whirl since Thanksgiving. These next couple weeks I'm going to spend getting my house back from 2 weeks of being swept up in the family holiday madness, taking the tree down, going through A's old toys (and a lot of other stuff in the house) to give away or donate, generally putting everything back together again. I said I would post at least once a week on this blog, so here it is! Checked off the list! 

The other thing I did today was a mad grocery trip to Whole Foods. I did the "meh - holidays" thing in terms of my diet and exercise and found to my horror that I'm up SEVEN WHOLE POUNDS since Thanksgiving. Seeing as I'm giving my leg a break from running, I'm going to have to 1) get my walk on every day. EVERY DAY. and 2) STOP EATING SO MUCH. I have the WORST self-control when it comes to portion control. Awful. I love love LOVE food, and I don't have an "off" switch with the whole fullness thing. I'm trying so hard to be more mindful of when that still, small voice in my head stretches back and says "yup. Full." because my tendency is to sucker punch it and eat the rest of what's on my plate because hey, the hubs and I are excellent cooks.

The good news is that being back home means being out of the Land of Casseroles (the Midwest) and back to our regularly scheduled veganism. Phew. On the menu today includes a delicious apple, kale, ginger smoothie, some tomatoes and hummus for lunch, apples and oranges for snacks, and some black eyed peas with greens for dinner tonight.

My days are filled with sorting, organizing, tossing, composting, making food and the like, and I've decided that if I'm going to run a successful Etsy shop, I'm going to have to dedicate at least an hour every night of making something. Last night I crocheted a chunky navy blue headband/earwarmer, inspired by my cousin Calley who was wearing a grey one at Christmas. I have some ideas on what kinda flair I want to add, but first I need to make a bunch. The good news is I whipped it out in an evening while watching Our Idiot Brother. Heartwarming and hilarious, in case you're in need of a good flick. Okay, back to the grind. Happiest of Happy New Years to you!