uninspired

Hey, folks. I've decided I'm officially going to take a hiatus this December from blogging. Life has been inSANE the last few weeks/months and every time I think about blogging I approach it with a kind of guilt because I don't even know where to start. Then there's the fact that the deeper I get into music therapy I feel in a quandry because there is all this confidentiality stuff I worry about and do not want to overshare.

I think what is going to help is taking some time off from trying to force my creativity and take the time to  figure out where I want my blog to go in the new year and get a clear picture of what it is I have to say in my little corner of the universe. Heck, I might even get a full-on redesign out of the deal, as per my geek of a husband.

OH BUT FIRST I have to say this: My super talented friend Josh Rosenthal spent the last year developing a series of 4 CDs, ending with a Christmas album that just came out called For a Day.  The suite of CDs called Villages captures the idea of our need for connection with one another.  

The Villages Suite culminates with For a Day, an album where Josh spent one day collaborating with different artists for each song.  He has a variety of Christmas specials online with several CDs and t-shirt combinations. You can purchase them through his online store at http://joshrosenthal.bigcartel.com.  He gave me a special promotional code for my friends and blog readers to get an extra 10% off.  At checkout use CHRISTINA to get the discount.  This would be a great Christmas gift or stocking stuffer idea!!!

To preview his music go to his myspace at: http://www.myspace.com/joshrosenthal

To purchase his music with my promotional code go to: http://joshrosenthal.bigcartel.com/

I had the pleasure of seeing him play live a couple months ago in two venues Dallas and it was incredible - and, he and his wife Becky are pretty great altogether. So check both of 'em out.

Ciao until January 1st, lovelies!

themes.

So, the conference was far more than I could've asked for, and I went into it expecting one thing and got something else entirely. I came out with knowledge, yes, but I came away inspired, awed, exhausted, and fulfilled. There were a few themes: Neuroscience, Bilingual Music Therapy, Improvisation, and Nurturing my Creativity.

In the Neuroscience corner, we have the wonderfully inspiring lectures given by Dr. Aniruddh Patel, who was a major influence in my thesis work. A neuroscientist working on research in mirror neurons that was just...way super cool. Plus he was wicked accomplished and YOUNG which is inspiring in itself. And then there's' Dr. Iversen, who I spotted at every function all week long. It was cool to have the neuroscientists there so we could have conversations about what each of our fields was up to. They had no idea what we were doing and we had no idea what they were doing, as I suspected. I also decided that instead of doing neurologic music therapy training, I am going to start working toward a Ph.D. in Neuroscience. Maybe they'll start having drum circles at neuro conferences.

Wouldn't that be a trip.

leavin' on a jet plane

Tomorrow my friend Maria and I are heading off with the rest of the music therapy world to our national conference! These things are always so refreshing, rejuvenating, and FUN!

I know what you're thinking: conferences aren't supposed to be fun. Well, sometimes when participating in presentations they can be a little stressful but seriously - one is almost guaranteed to sing, play an instrument, or see how someone sang/played instruments for a client population that is interesting, and then after all that, we get together and do drum circles, chanting, dancing, music making, songwriting...I got hooked on music therapy at the 2004 national conference in Austin. I walked in to registration where a band was playing and it was like my entire being sighed, "I'm home!"

What is super amazing is that all the music therapists that can make it from all over the country get together and such a strong community is built when we all make music together in some form or another. On top of that, with the help of twitter, the MTs from around the country have scheduled a "tweetup" and it'll be so cool to meet people face-to-face that I only know online. Anyway, the community that is built for a few days is always rather powerful and moving, and I hope to take lots of videos and pictures so I can show y'all.

For now, I'm going to go see if I can get a shot in the bum because I woke up SICK yesterday :( and I for sure need it gone by tomorrow!

there's no place like home(town)...

I always tell people that NB is a great place to be from, but it was sometimes a difficult place in which to grow up. Everything closing around 9 or 10 on the weekends, small town mentality, racism, all that. There were good things too: dear friends that have been in my life more years than haven't been in it, facing the rivers at night for the sheer thrill of it (and as mentioned above, we were bored at about 10:05pm), and knowing a place so well it - less like just the back of your hand and more like part of your entire skin. I'm having trouble describing the tingling I felt when I saw the workers putting the lights on the courthouse or encountering an 8 pt buck on my morning run through the old neighborhood.

I went back this weekend for Wurstfest and I swear, every time I go back, for either a holiday or a weekend trip, I learn something new about myself, my friends, and sometimes a little light gets shone on something. I came away from this weekend reassured that the more things and people change the more they stay the same. For me that means I can look back on and appreciate the stronger friendships with people I love, and joyfully renewed connections, along with a reinforced confidence in the choices I've made since leaving.

Has it really almost been 10 years?

Halt.

So, my running, and much of my life has been hindered by the destruction of a plantar's wart on the bottom of my right foot. Usually it hurts for a few days but today marks a WEEK of pain and limping :( It had better be gone soon - I've got lots of polka dancing to do this weekend :)

running running running

there's been a whole lot going down in the stockhausen lately, some of which I WISH I could hurry up and divulge (NO I'm not pregnant, promise) but for now we're going to talk about running and food.

Dude. The last time I did the Couch 2 5K program, I ran the standard 3 days a week but always felt way behind and like I would regress because I had to have a couple days rest in there somewhere and inevitably the next run after two days off would be killer. So, I've decided to follow the plan again, except I do it 4x a week. Last week I doubled up on my long run (20 straight minutes! YEAH!), and this week I doubled up on my first run (intervals of running and walking for 29 minutes) - there's no rhyme reason or formula to it, I just get one day of here and there and the next I'm running. Doing the 4x/week thing has done wonders for my endurance.

Another thing that I'm throwing around is the idea of REALLY cleaning things up in my body and going vegan in the new year. I don't even totally know what that is going to look like, if I'm going to start out vegetarian and just go vegan for a week out of each month or if I'll be mostly vegan and then go raw part of the time....no clue. All I know is I LOVE what the green monsters are doing for me detox-, energy-, and satisfaction-wise. I would even throw a clamp down on my barbecue fetish. I know. Crazy talk. While we're talking about detoxification, I've decided to kick the Nuvaring aka "glowstick" to the curb. Again, not for the purpose of trying to have kids (yet) but because I am SO DONE with a) synthetic hormones and b) shouldering all the contraceptive responsibilities. So far, things are great. I feel really good and just kind of better in general. Taking these baby steps toward cleaning up my body have been really, really empowering. Anyway, I'm just taking the months of November and December to try and do as much reading and research as I possibly can so that I can formulate a plan.

If you know me, you know I love this time of year, the quiet reflection before resolving to do this or that in the New Year. I know some of y'all did some resolving in 2009 - how did those things turn out? Have you started throwing ideas around for your glorious resolving self in 2010?

Oh also, we've finished repainting/sanding/painting again/replacing hardware in the guest bathroom! Feast your eyes:

sim*pli*fy

I've been noticing a theme lately - different people in completely different parts of my life have been unplugging lately, mainly from television and social networking sites. It hit me this week that I no longer care about Ugly Betty or Grey's Anatomy, and that I'm TIRED of twitter. I've decided to keep the twitter account around solely for music therapy advocacy sake (conferences mostly). I'm also going to start paring down my time spent on Facebook to like, once a week (it'll take me awhile to get there I'm sure).

I think I'm just tired of seeing other people's endless updates while I could be practicing an instrument, doing research, working on the house, in the garden, baking something, finding new recipes, connecting with friends (fb does NOT count) via handwritten letters, running, swimming, biking, cooking, canning, reading, writing, crocheting, sewing, bathing and/or training my dog, decorating, painting, laughing, getting to know new people, writing songs, ANYTHING is better than wasting my brain cells on the digitized facade of other peoples' lives (real or fiction). That whole concept is why I never got into nor understood the soap opera phenomenon.

Overall, this whole thing comes from heading into the holidays, deciding what I want to do differently in the new year, and preparing my heart and mind for it. I want to be more open to people and experiences, I want to be fully alive. Sitting in front of a computer or a television will get me none of those things.

charmed by chard

I don't know why I was so astounded when I peeked out at my little seeds three days after I planted them to see that the stem of the rhubarb chard I planted was RED! but...oh wait. No, I know why I was astounded - first off because the freaking things sprouted THREE DAYS after I planted them (so I gave them a WAHOO! and a fist pump, and then a shot of Garrett's Juice) and...well...maybe I'm dumb but I just didn't expect to see RED! on my little plantlets. But it sure did charm the heck out of me.

The other semi-exciting thing is that my pepper plants have turned into complete monsters:

This is what Candace and I refer to as "slutty jalepenos" Seriously - TONS of peppers. And I didn't even know which plants were which, just that some were jalepenos and some were poblanos, until I saw this little wonder:

...and started dreaming up all kinds of stuffed peppers stuffings and sweet-pickled jalepeno recipes. It's amazing what DAYS ON END OF NEVERENDING RAIN will do to food crops. I mean really. Yowza.

we tasted some of the pickles...

a little early, but they're GREAT! sour, with a little bit of bite :) just the way I like 'em. Stay tuned for a post on what's new in my garden...

I know, it looks like I'm drinking something toxic.

But seriously y'all - the green smoothie has become something I look forward to the night BEFORE I get up and make myself one for breakfast. I find myself wanting more green stuff (this one had two large handfulls (handsful?) of spinach, some banana, apple, ginger and grapes) but I have the stuff to make enough for the whole week all fruitilicious, so I'll have to wait to start adding things like cucumbers and avocados. Maybe even jalepenos - ay ay ay!

I planted kale seeds in the garden two days ago in the hopes that I'll soon get to harvest them and use them in my smoothies! Here's the link to the original green monster post by Claire. If you make your own, let me know! You might be surprised when your stomach gives you a high five for doing something so thoughtful and wonderful for it.

in a pickle

Last Christmas K got me the most amazing present - Country Wisdom & Know How, Everything You Need To Know To Live Off The Land. Seriously, people. It's a wonderful resource for EVERYTHING, including building chicken coops, gardening, home repair, and of course, canning.

At the farmer's market this weekend we got a ton of pickling cucumbers for CHEAP (hello, end of season abundance!) and here's what we did with them:

Materials
(6) 1 PINT mason jars. We always use Ball jars and get them from the local hardware store.
1 large pot (like you use to make spaghetti)

Ingredients
4 pounds cucumbers, 2-4 inches long
4-5 small jalepeños, sliced (optional)
1/2 onion, sliced
3 1/2 tablespoons pickling salt
1 1/2 tablespoons mustard seeds
1 tablespoon black peppercorns
3 cups water
3 cups white vinegar
6 bay leaves
6 cloves garlic
6 fresh dill heads
1 teaspoon DILL seed

First things first, clean your jars with soap and water, then rinse them off and put them in the oven (with lids, but make sure the lids aren't screwed on there, just set on top) at 200F for at least 20 minutes to sterilize them. Just leave them in there while you do the following:

Fill your large pot about halfway with water and start it boiling 'cos it'll take awhile.

Wash cucumbers and slice them into spears or discs.

Combine salt, mustard seeds, water, vinegar, onions, and peppercorns in a saucepan. Heat to boil.

Carefully remove your sterilized jars from the oven and in them put 1 bay leaf, 1 tsp celery seed, a piece of garlic clove, some jalepeños, and a piece of fresh dill.

Pack with cucumbers.

Using tongs, take the onions out of the boiling liquid and put it in your jars. Fill each jar with the hot liquid, leaving 1/4 inch headspace.

Seal the jars. Submerge in the water in the large pot for 10 minutes, and make sure all jars are covered with boiling water.

Remove the jars at once when the 10 minutes are up. At this point, you should be able to store them in the pantry but just to make sure nobody dies of botulism, we keep ours in the fridge. Let them hang out for about 2-3 weeks and then enjoy!

an amrazing adventure

so, we went to the Dallas Jason Mraz show last week for my mom's birthday and had a BLAST! Here are some highlights:

Kat getting some serious hoop-on back stage! Apparently they band & crew are really into hula hooping for its core-working workout. There were tons of hula hoops laying around, and Kat was all over 'em.

Jason & Carlos at rehearsal (from my phone)

Kat & uncle Carlos. Seeing as the show started at 9pm, we got to go to rehearsal so Kat could see Carlos play. She was a little more interested in hula hooping (when she and uncle C went off to look for them, she ran into Jason and was all "Where's the hula hoops?") and doing some improvisational dance while Carlos was warming up than the actual rehearsal, so I told her that in 10 years she's going to think that this was the COOLEST THING EVER.

Some guy ;) named Reggie on the big screen

Carlos on the big screen.

the guys at the "end" before the encore

My cousin is an incredible musician - everyone on that stage is, but hey, I'm partial to the Grooveline guys :) - and I'm fully aware of how blessed and lucky our family is to experience the cool stuff and amazing music that he's a part of. There's a lot of other stuff that happened at that concert that was totally surreal, and maybe I'll blog about it later, but I don't know yet. One of those times in your life where you feel something Creative tugging at your heart in the direction you should be going. Just not sure where exactly it's going to lead me.

And, if you're still reading and thinking to yourself "UGH Mraz is such a tool!" I encourage you to go see a live show. You might be surprised with the crazy amount of talent all the musicians on that stage have to offer you.

Grooveline Horns with Jason Mraz 09/09 from singmetheblues on Vimeo.

Something to think about.

Why is it that when I have anxiety about not being good enough to effect the people I'm going to go do therapy with almost to the point of wanting to fake an illness, those sessions end up being the most amazing?

Afterword.

So, what the heck am I up to now? Well, I took a week off from working out and just did some yoga, relaxed, got back into the groove of Life and then last week I started over on my Couch 2 5K plan because (you might want to sit down for this) I don't really have a specific goal ahead of me, I just want to make running a more regular part of my life.

I know. WTF.

I need to get the back tire of my bike looked at, will buy a new bike lock, and am going to reattach my rack & milk crate so I can make responsible grocery runs. Fitness is something that takes a mindset shift, and eating well is important, but so is getting out there and moving. I think I might also take a dance class. More importantly though, I've started conquering my unending abyss of unfinished craft projects that has very nearly culminated in a Longhorn Band t-shirt (between me and K we had like 30+) quilt that all I need to do is quilt and then I'll be done and will take photos for you all to enjoy. Then I've got loads of yarn to get through before I will allow myself to buy any more, and some baby presents that are like 2.5 years overdue.

So yeah, back to crafting and gardening and musically therapizing the masses :)

The Bike. And the (totally craptacular) Run.

Okay. So I've been lazybones and have taken a good like three weeks to post the whole thing about this triathlon. Thing is, people are still asking me about it, which means that I'm still verbally processing it without having really internally processing it so usually I wouldn't be ready to write about it but now it's hanging over my head because I've got a million other things to write about and I feel like I can't do that until I finish this.

Seriously y'all, I haven't even Emailed my supporters to shower them with love and kisses and gratitude and let them know that I BAWLED MY EYES OUT FOR THEM at the pain during the 6 mile run. But more on that later.

So. The bike course went up Cesar Chavez, UP Congress to Mary Street, down (then back up a false flat) to the Capitol (kind of awesome, wish I had my camera on me but Kyle was busy being my papparrazzo), then hang a right down CC, go around by the Town Lake hike & bike over by Austin High, UP THE HILL at Run Tex, then back over to CC. And around again. Three times.

The first time going up the Congress hill I was all YEAH! OLYMPIC TRI! and then, I fumbled my water bottle. To the ground. The only one I'd brought and strapped to my bike, which is of course the moment that the MOMENT I decided to only take one water bottle flashed into my brain and I hated life. So, I had 24.5 more miles to go and had no water. And no aid stations on the bike. I was honestly afraid to push it because I had the sinking feeling that I started out with less hydration than was necessary, so I just ambled along, getting passed by HUNDREDS of bikers. On the second pass of Congress I stopped and picked up my water bottle, very nearly taking out a couple elite bikers behind me (yeah, that was me getting LAPPED, not beating them) but I didn't so much care because I had my WATER! but of course by then it was too late. And I had already started my very long, very scathing list of things to think about the Sprint distance triathletes, see, because on the bike we had to do 3 loops of the track, whilst they did 2.

So demoralized and dehydrated, I started the run, which was really bad news to my legs, who were all YEAH! GOOD GAME! WAIT...WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?!. PLUS, every time I started even thinking about running, chills started rolling over my body in mid 90-degree heat, which I found out later was early signs of heat stress. Which leads to heat stroke. Um, yeah. Super suck.

The sprinters got to do one loop of the run course, and we had to do two, which I mostly walked, and by the second round, I'm pretty sure I was one of like 20 people left on the course. So there I am, shivering, feeling quite low, and TOTALLY doing the Ugly Cry because 1) holy crap my body hurt so much and whose idea was this ANYWAY?!?! Oh right. Mine. and 2) I really, really started missing my grandfather. These uncontrolled images of him were flooding my brain and I remembered everything about the 6 months between him being diagnosed with cancer and then dying. So, that sucked, but it was also kind of therapeutic because I have never cried about him like that. I realized just how much I miss him. I miss both my granddads. Some girls are daddy's girls, I was my granddads' girl through and through.

So anyway, the only thought that pulled me through all of that was the realization that all the pain I was inflicting on myself was my CHOICE. However, I was racing not for myself but for all the people who have gone through pain that they didn't want to choose. I ran for those who could not run, and somehow that made me own all of that pain that I had felt over the years and make finishing like I really had conquered something. The cancer that has taken my family from me and plagued my friends and mentors has broken my heart repeatedly, and I finally felt like I gave it the good punch in the face it deserved.

P.S. Happy Birthday Mom I love you! Cancer free for like, 26 years now :)

The Swim.

Really, the swim was the least eventful part of this race. I am entirely comfortable and confident in my swimming abilities, and managed to swim the mile in about 40 minutes, which is what my average was in the pool.

The lead-up to the swim though, hooo-boy. First off, we woke up around 5am, and Ian was there at Kate's door at about 5:07am, his knock freaking us all out because really, we thought he was going to show up at 5:45. Love you, Ian. Seeing as the transition area closed at 6:40am and I am a control freak, after unpacking and repacking all my stuff, we were out the door at 5:30am after a breakfast of coffee (have to get in the PRP if you know what I mean), scrambled eggs, and peanut butter and jelly with bananas. Yes we sang the "peanut butter jelly time!" song because we were, uh, delirious.

K was kind enough to drive us down to the race in the predawn hours and dropped us off. Again, things mostly uneventful. Ran into our college TBS sponsor, Jean, who was racing in her 20th triathlon. Amazing. I loved walking around and seeing the Livestrong jerseys...often times there would be no words, just big smiles and high-fives. The butterflies flopped and beat themselves to death in my stomach as we waited. Finally, it was time to go and we all hopped into the questionably clean waters, treaded water, and we were off. The only interesting things that happened during the swim was me getting COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT by the shallow rocks not once but twice and my lack of control over the radio in my head, which led to "I'm Yours" playing on repeat for 3/4 of the swim, though it is neither energizing nor has a good beat to swim to. Oh well.

(next: The Perilous Bike)

Before.

I was going to wait until I had all the pictures to upload before posting but I decided that since it's 11pm-ish and I cannot for the life of me get to sleep, I'll start writing about my Austin Triathlon experience.

Saturday K and I drove down to Austin, did the football game thing at the alumni center, then crashed pretty early. Sunday was a flurry of activity, what with first attending the tri expo at the Hyatt in the morning to which I didn't wear any workout clothes or spandex and therefore felt rather inadequate. I wish I had taken a picture. The number of fit, muscley, spandexed individuals in one room before 10am was almost too much. I picked up my race packet and threw my bike in the back of the car instead of turning it in because we were going to be late to District 9 which was at once intense, depressing, and fabulous. I finally got my bike turned in after lunch where I ran into Kate & Ian and got my bike lock cut off (yes, I lost the keys. Surprised?). Then, K and I hit Amy's Ice Cream and Waterloo Records, where I checked out the new Gomez and Paolo Nutini but didn't actually commit.

Sunday night was the dinner at the Lance Armstrong Foundation in East Austin and short of Lance himself showing up (he didn't :(), it was a really amazing time. I saw his yellow jerseys, marveled at the minimalist, green construction of the building, totally chowed on some delicious pasta & lasagna, and was moved to tears several times. The first was when the LAF folks played the Manifesto video. I was also sitting next to a woman who not only worked for the LAF but had survived cervical cancer THREE TIMES in her lifetime and was just so vibrant and wonderful to speak to. I was nearly in tears just because I was blessed by her being alive and having a nice conversation with me.

The speaker of the evening was an ex-Texas basketball player that has an amazing story and really brought things into perspective as to why I wanted to do this. My abuelo was heavy on my heart and mind this past weekend, because it's been about 10 years since he passed away from pancreatic cancer. He went to all my football games in high school and I found myself thinking that if he was still alive, he would've had a blast going to UT games. I would've bought him one of those classy Mexican burnt-orange button up T-shirts you can get at Co-op for his birthday and he would wear them to every game. He would've loved seeing Vince play, would have loved that the Spurs made it to the playoffs YET again. He would've loved. LOVED. Kyle, and vice versa.

I remember being in such shock when he died - at the same time my parents were getting a divorce and mom was still really sick, so after school when we would leave NB to go fret either at grandma's house or at a hospital, I would without fail pass out somewhere. Not like faint, but just be out like a light if I sat for a moment. Looking back, it really was shock, because I didn't cry at his funeral. I look back surprised I survived all of that. What I do remember is saying goodbye to him at the hospital for the last time, not thinking he could hear me, and the tears when he squeezed my hand. It's weird that he's been gone for almost 10 years.

Anyway, I think I made up for the crying this weekend. I'll put pictures up soon, I promise.

(next: the swim)

IT'SHEREIT'SHEREIT'SHEREIT'SHEREIT'SHERE!!!!

Seriously, ya'll I have been looking forward to this weekend for MONTHS AND MONTHS and not just because it's the Wallner's 4th anniversary of wedded bliss but also because it's Labor Day weekend and that means UT football kicks off at precisely 6pm and we're going to be IN AUSTIN for it (but not actually AT the game - $60 for face value tickets for Louisiana-Monroe? Please.) and most importantly the Austin Triathlon is on MONDAY!!! I follow L*nce Armstr*ng on Twitter and have the sneaking suspicion I'll be taking a picture with him this weekend at the Sunday night LiveSTRONG team dinner. I'll try to keep it together.

The question is, do I be that girl (grammar police, anyone?) and take my copy of It's Not About The Bike and get him to sign it or do I act cool?

Speaking of cool, I can't even explain to you the awesomeness that's lined up for the weekend. I'll take lots of pictures, watch for voluminous tweets.

The Cooler Side of Texas

Seriously y'all - I can almost hear my tomatoes shouting HALLELUJAH! Because we're having a cold snap here in North Texas! It hasn't gotten over 100 degrees in about a week and the mornings have been in the 60s.

ONE MORE WEEK!

It's been a strange week, what with doing a triathlon in NB last weekend and doing another one next weekend. I felt like I didn't have the days to take off to recover because I'd have to just get right back out there and seriously ramp up my miles. Hence, I jumped in the pool on Monday and did a 1700 meter workout because my body was just driving me crazy, all itching to get moving again. In the end I took Tuesday and Wednesday off because WOW was my rear end feeling the effects of those crazy hills in NB, but then ran 2 miles on Thursday, biked 20 miles on Friday, swam the 1500 meters on Saturday and this morning did a brick.

What's a brick you say? I can't remember if I've explained this yet but it's where you bike then run, and "bruike" and "bikrun" aren't words. Anyway, it was a special brick because I have a "team" down in Austin that is doing the olympic distance with me, Kate and Ian, and I got the idea from Kate because she mentioned that they would be doing the long brick and it was going to be FUN! so I volunteered to do my own long brick up here. It was nice because I train a lot for this stuff by myself, but this morning I wasn't so much by myself. I also ran into the Plano cycling club so for a little while I really wasn't by myself, but the little Plano peloton kept on moving and left me to my thoughts on the White Rock Trail.

The bike was mostly uneventful - I was pumped to get a bike in on my new triathlon shorts. The ones I purchased for the Danskin last year were a MEDIUM and, um, I don't know if you've met me but there is nothing medium about my lower body so I have NO IDEA what I was thinking. Wishful thinking that all these crazy workouts would earn me a medium. HA! No dice :) So, I went to the local bike mart and picked up some shorter, more appropriately sized ones and WOW have they made a difference. They're cooler and lighter than the last pair, feel awesome. The only drawbacks are that I'm going to need some extra chafe-proof gel around the thighs because the seams rub, and there's generally a squishy part in the part of the pants where one sits whilst biking and that is quite a bit lighter, but it's only 24 miles, and instead of looking like a stuffed sausage I actually look really cute.

Because cute matters when you're swimming half a mile, biking 24, and running 6.2.

The RUN though today, oh my goodness was it AWESOME. MAGICAL, even. I know. Who is the person who's writing this blog and what have you done with Christina?! Well, in the first mile things got crazy in the stomach cramp department, so I took a pit stop at my house after which upon running again I hit this little spot of zen. The only way I can describe it is that I felt sort of like I was above myself, watching me run. I observed the pain in my calves (yowza), the overall exhaustion, but my breathing was really, REALLY great and I knew that no matter what I could keep running and be just fine. This was a big deal because running during races is really glorified walking. In fact, at my first tri this summer I was "running" and getting PASSED by WALKERS. Then at the tri last week I would run for a set amount of time, then walk. I've determined that it's not going to be like that this race. I need to suck it up and run the darn thing, even if I'm getting passed by power walkers, and even if it is only "running." I want to become a better runner before doing another triathlon so I've decided to start over from total scratch on the Couch-to-5k program after this tri is over.

I realized something important. I've been blessed to have grown up in a town where open water swimming was so readily available and where I HAD to learn to swim really early and have had a love for it all my life because I know for many people the swim is the toughest part. It's the best part for me, and I also really love to bike, so I think that if there were two events that I struggled with I think I'd not have such great time doing these races. The running part for me puts everything into perspective though because I have the time to think, to pray for the people who are supporting me through their funds and encouraging words and who have all fought the good fight against cancer, and no matter what I'm going through during the training or the races, it's nothing compared to what people who have actually battled the disease themselves have dealt with.

So, there's a little more time left to reach my goal. Please donate here: http://www.livestrong.org/grassroots2009/christinaaustri09

I'll be sure and take lots of pictures next weekend - it's going to be so fun, a football game in Austin and then the triathlon AND the weather has FINALLY had a break in the heat. It's going to be awesome. Thank y'all so much for your support on this adventure and keep livin' strong :)

much love,
Christina

wart are you talking about?

note to self: don't get blister beetle juice applied to a plantar's wart on your feet a couple days before a race. It feels like burning. No, this isn't the first time I've had this treatment done, and yes, it goes away after a couple days but let me just say OUCH!

I'm really getting excited about this triathlon, especially because I can RIDE MY BIKE from the house I grew up in down to the start on Saturday morning. I also noticed on the list of signups that there are lots of people in their 40s and 50s who signed up which means a) I'm not going to come in last or b) I'm going to get hosed by a bunch of middle aged folks.

I'm pushing for a but won't be surprised by b.

My current dilemma is that my hubs has taken my camera on a manly hiking trip to Colorado and I'm trying to decide if I want to tweet/take pictures during the race. Thoughts?

Speaking of the hubs and his manly adventure, here's the map he sent me to assuage my fears about being out of contact for 4 days.

RAWR.

You know what? Screw the eye infection - I'm going to do the Wurst Tri this coming Sunday.

Check out the first 40 seconds of the video. Hill.

thoughts for the evening

“Spread love everywhere you go: First of all in your own house… let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile. Kindness.”

Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Triathlon Update

So, I just realized that the Austin tri is in like, less than a month. I also would like to do the Wurst Tri Ever in NB, but I'm battling an eye infection and the day before, I'm scheduled back to see my beloved optometrist who now knows me by name. I would, however, like to get in one last sprint tri warmup before the big mamba jamba.

At camp I had two cancer-related things happen. First, one of my campers lost her mother to cancer, which she hardly spoke about. The next thing that happened was that a dear friend lost her mother to cancer. It seriously broke my heart when I heard because I know how much hope there had been for her to survive.

I have to admit that I've been slacking on training. I rolled my ankle in the garden a couple weeks ago and then did something stupid to my bike and I just a couple weeks ago got my ankle worked on and then last week went to camp and was in no way ready to wake up the required EARLY! to get out there on the road. This morning, though, I woke up with determination. I signed up for the Olympic Distance, which is a 1-mile swim, 24-mile bike ride, and a 10k run. It's due nearly entirely to peer pressure, and I'm really, really scared that I'm going to a) not finish or b) come in last. I figured that signing up for the longer distance would kick my bootie into gear. I was right.

This morning as I ran I thought and prayed a lot for my friend and her family, and thought a lot about strength and endurance both as they apply to racing a tri and to fighting cancer. I didn't come to any profound conclusions, just sent all the positive thoughts and strength I could muster and I recognized that the two were somehow connected. I'm glad that I can be doing something to feel empowered against the disease that's taken so much from me, my friends, and my family.

I have $625 more to raise, which is making me nervous, even though I know I have about two more months (ish) to get it together. I'm so blessed by the folks who've already donated and have sent along words of encouragement. Thanks for believing in me and in believing in the cause.

I'll be posting a lot more about the tri and training now that it's mere weeks (EEK!) away.

gardening in the shade

we've been amending soil and have now picked out plants - some of which we know where we want them. Others, not so much.  Here's some pics:

from left to right we've got cast iron plants, crimson azalea, another kind of azalea, two acubas, a hosta (R front) and gardenia

 

Here's cast iron again, then oxalis, and coleus all mixed up.

and because I love Martha, one little hydrangea and some sweet potato vines

and then in these last two you can see a baby elephant ear, mahonia, and callas.

any thoughts out there regarding garden design?

Reflections on Camp...

I miss it - all of it. Despite the triple-digit heat we had for six days, I miss:

singing blessings before every meal

braiding hair

making daisy chains

painting rocks

busting kitchen raids

swimming every day

"top secret" excursions to stargaze, and that whole adventure being a bust due to mosquitoes and some unidentifiable screeching animal 

sitting quietly while a camper pours her heart, her fears, her angry out, and finding something to do about it.

does a body good

Seriously, if there's one thing I'm looking forward to getting pregnant sometime in the future, it's the excuse to get a massage at least once a month. I have a dear friend Scott who is an absolute MIRACLE WORKER in the massage department. Here's his website. If you're in the DFW area or just planning to visit soon, you should schedule an appointment with him.

I rolled my ankle two weeks ago while working in the garden, which has put a big, sad, damper on my triathlon training. I scheduled a one-hour session with him this morning at 9am, and was greeted with this sign:

Definitely something I needed to take to heart today. When I was checking in with my therapist before the massage, I complained of my ankle and then said, "I don't know if this is relevant information, but I feel like I've been holding on to a whole lot of negativity lately." Instead of looking at me like I was cuckoo, he said, "That can certainly exacerbate the issue." 

See why I go to this guy?

Anyhow, throughout the session, I had to keep reminding myself to BREATHE and let everything GO and just enjoy the moment.

I walked out of there with an incredible lightness of being and sense of balance. I am a huge advocate of self-care, and tend to over-tell people to check in with themselves and treat themselves, even if it's just figuring out where your happy place is and trying to focus on that place for just a solid minute every so often throughout the day, maybe even say a prayer of gratitude or asking for help, without taking the time to do such things myself.
I'm going to try this next week, though, to do just that. I'm going to be off on Saturday morning for a week of summer grief camp and I know that self-care for me will be of utmost importance. I see it as a vessel of water - the more I pour out, the more that I have to be sure to fill myself up with, whether it be crochet or photography, playing music or working in the garden.

You don't have to be a therapist to need this stuff in your day though - like I said, that solid one minute of checking in with yourself can totally change your day. Give it a try and let me know how it goes. I'll do it too.

It Ain't Good

Last weekend I hung out with some friends in New Braunfels, tubing and just generally relaxing. I was pleased to find out that there was a Bob Schneider show going on at Whitewater, and I was thrilled at the prospect of spending a lovely Texas evening under the stars with good music.

The venue did not disappoint - the stage's backdrop is the Guadalupe river, the grounds are beautifully landscaped with native Texas plants, and we were quite literally tucked in between some hills. Another plus to the place was that their food was reasonably priced. I got two tasty vegetarian (rice, black beans, veggies, pico) tacos for $5, and the drink prices were pretty much standard for a music venue. 

Since I turned 25 I realized that I've seen more Bob shows in the form of his solo act or with The SCABS than I have of any other musician. The SCABS were my first Austin show - it was my 15th birthday (we lied and said I was 16 just so I could get in to the venue), I know all his songs, even worked for his PA for a little bit once upon a time when I wanted to be a music business maven, yet I can't say that I'm a big fan of his. There really used to be nothing like a live SCABS or Bob Schneider show. I remember when they would all dress up in marching band uniforms or their sharp black suits, and miscellaneous undergarments would get thrown on the stage, and every show was new, exciting, different. About 5 or so years ago, the shows became canned - everything the same, every time, with the variety being only in "It Ain't Good" (where members of the band can improvise) or his encore song (and even then only sometimes).

I appreciate his music and the lyrics and the scathing cleverness behind a lot of what he does, but this show...I don't know. Maybe because I was exhausted from a big day of being on the river, but I think lackluster is a good word to describe it. I found myself wishing that the last Bob show I went to at Lakeway last summer was the last show of his I'd ever seen, because it was amazing, lighthearted, and a heck of a party (plus, free!). Candace even said that she felt like everyone else was in on something that we were totally missing. There were so many things about the show that turned us off (from the T-shirts, the whole FAYM concept, and the first four really low-energy songs) I described it to her as a whole new generation of college kids who thinks the sun shines out of his behind, and we just happen to know better, or have grown up. We now know way too much about him and how he treats people to like him as a person, but still have to admit that his songs are quality. He is indeed a talented songwriter, and from what I hear, an inspiration to many in the singer/songwriter world. If you listen to Bob's ramblings on his website, you can tell - something is different. Things just ain't what they used be.

At any rate, after 11 years of enjoying his music live, though I will probably still use his songs in my lyric analysis for music therapy, I don't need to see him live ever again.

#sigh

today, the morning I get rid of my ACL 3 day pass, of which all are sold out, I found out that the company trip has been...

...wait for it.

r

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s

c

h

e

d

l

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*update: I had a long chat with my cousin last night, he helped put things into perspective. I'm disappointed that everything worked out like this, but it's just a music festival, and I trust God has his reasons. It was just a kick in the ribs after a really awful day. BUT, today is already better :)

oops, Monday? again?

So, in lieu of a made-up interview or one whereas I interview myself (and have time to make up startlingly witty answers), I've decided to take a gamble - how 'bout you guys ask me questions, and I'll answer them.  Feel free to ask more than one.

Ready go.

From Daina: What is your favorite instrument?

This is a really tough call. I love learning how to play new instruments and am blessed that I have a good ear and learn really quickly on any instrument.  I always say that piano is my first love in that I started playing when I was about 3, and therefore the range of expression on it is just mind-blowing. In fact, it's probably where my ear training and talent is based. The piano is at the center of why I decided to become a music therapist - I leaned on my piano (sometimes quite literally) when I was going through my mom's illness or my parents' divorce, all those things. My mom even said when I moved off to college she was most going to miss my 3am "recitals." I just love playing whatever instruments I can get my hands on. The trick is picking them up on a regular basis to get fluent with each.

From Daina: What is your favorite thing about music therapy?
This is really, really kind of tough for me to answer, but the first thought that came to mind is that music therapists work with all populations from mothers who are giving birth to hospice patients who wish to have the aid of music as they take their leave from life, and everything in between.

There's job security, especially when you work with the mental health populations.

Last week I was reminded of another favorite thing about music therapy - that the inherent things about music: the rhythm, the fun, its improvisational quality, are all things that change the lives of people every day. Where once there was an old lady sitting, screaming obscenities at someone, she is now playing drums, singing, reminiscing, dancing. Where once there was a child scared of everyone who came into their hospital room is now someone smiling, playing drums, creating songs.

I guess overall I'm just thankful that I get to use my favorite thing in the world to change peoples' lives, and that in turn changes and blesses me.

Yum, Drugs.

I've always been a proponent of remedying what ails my body in the most natural way possible. It was, after all, local honey that saved my poor bronchials from defeat several times while growing up in South Texas aka The Cedar Capital of the World (turns out I'm allergic to all things Juniper, something I learned during my senior Biology of Plants class in college). I even snuggle up close with my Neti-Pot when the weather turns to wheezing and general feelings of death-by-mucus.

However, I recently did some investigative work into my bloodwork history and discovered that my thyroid stimulating hormone levels have been teetering on the edge of screwy. "AHA!" I thought. I knew all the symptoms 'cos all the ladies in my family are plagued with various twists of thyroid tumult, including cancer and a fun little thing called Hashimoto's. In fact, at a bridal shower, I distinctly recall not only that the cake was super tasty but that every woman in my family sat around the table discussing what dosage of Synthroid they were on.  Kinda spooky.

So, I finally hauled my hair-falling-out, family-history-of-thyroid-issues, mildly depressed, foggy-brained, sleepy-from-the-time-I-wake-up-'til-I'm-asleep-again, can't-lose-weight-even-though-training/racing-triathlons-and-eating-really-healthy, to the doc, armed with bloodwork results and I'm glad to report that I've been on Synthroid for four days. You can say what you want about placebo effect, but oooh I feel the stormcloud lifting from my head. It started small, tiny rays of sunshine peeking through. It's almost overwhelming, the amount of energy I have throughout the day. I found myself wondering if they'd prescribed some kind of street-drug upper for me. Nope, just getting ye 'ole thyroid tweaked. I had even lost 5lbs as of this morning, and that's with some beers with dinner, ice cream from Sonic, and not working out as I twisted my ankle working in the garden last weekend.

Added bonus: the pills for the next two weeks are not only chewable but kinda citrusy. Nom.

Whew. I feel like I'm back, after who knows how long of not being so. Eesh. Good to be back.

Sweaty & Dirty in the Garden

I know, I know, it was 100+F this past weekend. However, the hubs had plans other than sitting around eating ice cream in the air conditioning. We quite literally worked outside all day, both days. Since resolving to get chickens, we've started a list of things we need to do, including getting a coop built, but also remedying the issue of the shady part of the garden where nothing ever grows. Here's what we did, in pictures: 

K is far more of a morning person than I am and when I woke up on Saturday morning, he'd gotten most of the trench for the brick wall dug out. I'm glad in our relationship we've got a good balance of detail oriented and, um, the complete opposite, especially during this project. I learned a lot about building garden walls, including the importance of paver base, and how incomplete our lives were without an 8x8 tamper. No end of jokes there, my favorite being Kyle's while resuming work: "You ready to get your tamp - on?"

We've got the brick part done (I'll take some more pictures tomorrow), and I've bought a tiller to break up the beautiful, sticky clay that plagues Richardson.

Next step: Soil amending!

Josh Rosenthal Interview

I recently had the super cool opportunity to interview a musician named Josh Rosenthal. He's the husband of my friend Becky,  who I met on a Campus Crusade summer project in Spain. If y'all know anything about me, you know that I'm a die-hard for live music and supporting up-and-coming musicians, so when Becky approached me about doing the interview I was so excited! She sent me three of his CDs and they spent a week in my car on repeat. What I found was a refreshing depth of character that made me think and some really good guitar playing. You can get his music on iTunes, and from his website. In fact, before reading the interview, you should go dip your toes in at his MySpace page.

So here you go, the very first Monday's Mellifluous Music interview:

What in the world made you want to become a musician in the first place?

I either wanted to be a doctor, pastor or musician.  Oddly enough I found the things I desired in medicine and ministry to come together as one in music.  I can write songs and use them as instruments of healing in the lives of the people I love.

I met Becky on a Campus Crusade trip to Spain when we were in college and next thing I heard, she was marrying you! I enjoyed the songs on your CDs that were obviously about your relationship because they were honest. What’s y’alls story?

We dated for three months before getting engaged.  But we knew of each other for years.  We went to junior high and high school together but never noticed.  She was the hot popular girl who drove a Jeep Wrangler and I was the punk kid who drove 1984 Mercury.  We didn’t really run in the same circles.  Once we were both home for the holidays.  It was love at 3,872^nd sight.  We don’t notice each other until exactly the right time and we got married within the year.

You’re right.  A lot of my songs start from Becky and me.  We’ve got a great marriage, but we work hard at it.  We want to use our mistakes to teach other people what to avoid if at all possible.

A family member once described his songwriting process as “someone turning a radio on in his head.” How does your songwriting process go?

It’s funny; it really has little to do with music.  My greatest inspiration comes from, but isn’t limited to, things like Grey’s Anatomy.  Its writers are geniuses.  Their story lines are so specific yet so universal.  That’s what I want to do with my songs.  If a circumstance in life strikes me and makes me feel a strong emotion, I try to capture it in a song.  If music didn’t move me the way it does, I’d be content in any profession that provides people cathartic outlets for healing.

On a scale of 1-100, how much do you like playing live shows? What’s your favorite and least favorite part?

100.  Some guys I know love the studio and play shows out of necessity.  I’m the opposite.  I’m intrigued by moments.  So far I’ve only been able to capture so much in the studio.  But at a concert you can create a moment with a song that moves people.  There is something special about a live show that allows for emotional moments. 

My least favorite part?  Setting up gear and tearing it down.

How do you think your style has evolved since you started recording? What have been your biggest influences in this?

One listen to each album shows a pretty major evolution in the sound. But, more than anything, my style has changed because I know what I want to say. Every artist has to have a message. Early on, for me, it was “hey, listen to me.” Now it has more to do with truly singing meaningful things to people. I try to tap into those universal pains and bring hope to them.

Where do you want to be personally and professionally in the next 5 years?

I hope to have strong followings outside the Rocky Mountain region. I’d like to double the amount of albums I sell every year. If a label opportunity comes along, I’ll explore it, but it will not be a barometer of my success.

Because I’m also from a small town and can totally relate to “Gotta Get Out” I was wondering, how do you think coming from a small town has shaped your worldview?

Great question. Yes, I give Lubbock a hard time in the same manner I give Ben Robie a hard time. Jokes at his expense are entertaining but ultimately I love the guy. I owe my ability to hold meaningful conversations to my Lubbock upbringing. I used to joke that people from larger towns have more to entertain them.  In Lubbock, all we had was conversations. We sit in a room and talk for hours on end. That would be our evening activity. To answer your question, it shaped my worldview by helping value conversations with people.

Why Utah?

Google it and look at the pictures.

On the back of Renaissance, there’s a peek of a tattoo on the inside of your right arm. What is it and what does it signify?

It says “ALIVE”. My friend Asher and I got tattoos together in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. The whole time I got mine, he was singing Pearl Jam’s song by the same name. A lot of people survive or barely get by, but how many people are truly alive? I want to be fully alive.

How would you classify your music genre-wise and how do you set yourself apart from other “boys-and-their-guitars”?

I’m Americana/Folk. Those who subscribe to he “boys and their guitars” image don’t have long careers. They may get popular, but they burn out quickly. The longest lasting careers are usually tied to the meaningful message of the artist. Any popular song in my genre has lyrics that resonate with people. I like to think the marriage of my message and my live show set me apart from the average singer/songwriter.

What was your inspiration for “Bless the Fire”?

I complain a lot when life is difficult. Once the difficulty passes and I’m stronger for it, I speak highly of life’s challenges. Bless the Fire was my attempt at loving a really challenging situation while in the middle of it. It’s easy to look back and say hard times are good. But it’s another to say they’re good if you’re living through the death of a loved one or something equally as tragic. I want to joyfully accept what life gives me when it gives it to me.

I think you’ve got a lot going for you in the talented and inspired department and am excited for whatever you’re going to put out next. What do you have coming up next for you musically?

Thanks. I’m releasing four new albums this year – August 18, September 15, October 13 and November 27. I’ll be doing a lot of traveling in the fall to support their releases.