vegetarian mexican deliciousness

There's this stuff called Soyrizo that is totally rocking my world right now. It looks and tastes EXACTLY like chorizo, except it needs a little oil when you cook it, and you don't feel totally gross and oily after eating it. I mean, seriously. EXACTLY. Freaks me out but ooooh is it delicious. I've taken to eating that and Rosarito's vegetarian refried beans for breakfast. Yum yum yum. Vegetarian does not at all equal boring, and that makes me so happy.

Cloverfield.

You know, I love a good sci-fi. I also love a good horror flick. Fortunately, this movie mixes them brilliantly! Who's in the movie? Nobody you know, which is way admirable, and it gives a new twist on perspective...Blair Witch-esque...one of the girls even says "I'm so scared" at the end, which I can only presume is a nod to BW.

Yeah, in short, it's freaking brilliant - but take your dramamine. Or at the very least, don't go see it at a dine-and-watch place like the Drafthouse or Studio Movie Grill. All the jostling around actually made me very, very dizzy and I had to walk out for fear of tossing my cookies WHICH unfortunately made me miss one of the most intense scenes of the film. That's okay, I'll totally see it again...just not on a big screen...

ouch.

I'm going to try to write something in here every day as sort of an exercise.

Speaking of exercising, I went to the gym yesterday for a strength-training orientation where the trainer pretty much kicked my ass with no apologies. Ladies and gents, if there was a diamond on the floor and the fate of the free world rested on me getting that gleamy bauble, we'd be toast.

Random Thoughts

If you're really into good films you should check out Paris, Je T'Aime. I found it at Blockbuster, so you should have no problem finding it. It is a series of several different stories directed by greats such as Wes Craven, the Coen brothers, and Gus Van Sant, just to name a few. Everyone and their mother is in this movie, including Juliette Binoche, Willem Dafoe, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Natalie Portman. There's even a nice little bit of Elijah Wood, a'la Sin City. This movie delightfully surprised the hell out of me and after getting halfway through a bottle of wine inspired me further to learn French and repeat the mantra, "Someday I will live in France."

I'm getting old and farty. For my birthday we went to Dave & Buster's and stayed up late and while it was fantastico, I woke up the next morning planning my next birthday party, which will be a dinner party...with probably all of the same people :)

My new favorite wine is Argentinian Malbec. You should check some out. It's fruity-ish but dark and oakey. The wine in question from last night was a white by Smoking Loon. I don't usually do whites but it was undrunk in the fridge and I was having a light pasta for dinner, so it all worked well together.

Oh, and about that pasta. The night we went to D&B I left my car at a friend's house in Richardson. I've been cleaning/studying/practicing like a madwoman so decided that yesterday I would laze, including dinner. I think the only thing accomplished was finishing a scrapbook for a friend. Anyway, when the time to pick up dinner rolled around I grabbed my keys and made it halfway down the stairs when I realized that my car was not in fact in my driveway. I had to call back and get it delivered, even though it's a block away and I didn't want to walk down there in the cold night. It was delicious pasta, though. It would have been better with sausage, but I'm trying not to dwell on that ;)

Can exes be friends? Yes, but only if the two actually try. I've come to the realization that by the lack of communication he probably didn't really mean he wanted to be friends. I'm done trying to understand him. Officially done. Maybe I'll even torch the shoe box.

What I think is funny is that understanding and acceptance of the demise of one relationship can come from reconciliation, thoughtfulness, and honesty in another tragic relationship-turned friendship. Thank God for that.

I miss my husband. He's been crazy busy at work and worked on a charity project all weekend that had him coding into all hours of the night. Thank goodness that, and last week is over.

I think when other people flake it bugs me most because I have a serious tendency toward flakiness as well.

Sometimes I think we're totally ready to have a kid and sometimes I lay in bed with my hands on my stomach thinking, "Are we ready for that yet?"

I will never fall out of love with swimming, or playing the piano.

happy birthday to me!

Turning 25 has not really brought up a whole lot of doom & gloom or anxiety about growing up. It's more about excitement at what's in store for the next 5 years (getting a house, graduating with my master's, getting a job, having a garden, having BABIES...) I do feel more grown up than I did yesterday, which is weird. The last time I felt anything near this was when I turned 20. It's funny, being 5 years from that surprise birthday party that my hubs threw for me because look where we ended up :) I feel like I'm more credible as an adult and professional because I've got some age on me, and I feel more confident in myself and as a woman, more sure of myself and what I believe and that I can stand up and fight for it all.

I've probably said before that I don't have New Year Resolutions but I do have some 25th-year goals...like doing the triathlon (training officially starts today!) and sticking with vegetarianism (despite the insatiable pull of sausage...), spending more time being quiet and aware of God. This past weekend I was in Austin and got all teary because a few guys that were freshmen when I was New Man Advisor for LHB (and they were therefore my babies) are graduating this year and they're like, my brothers now, which is crazy because I went to college not thinking that I'd ever be as close to anyone as I was (am) with my high school friends, but I feel as if I've known these kids forever.

Anyway, 25, and 2008 is going to be a good year. We'll have a house soon (!!!) and hopefully will start traveling (we have a list about a zillion places long). Someone once told me that I blogged (and therefore was) like the kind of person who expected the rug to be pulled out from under them at any second. I totally agree that I used to be that kind of person and looking back through all the hardships and crazy family and friend drama...I mean, I am who I am because of all that and I am more put together now because of unconditional Love.

It was all worth it.

[insert sound of crashing through an iceberg]

I don't know if it's the new birth control, but the last few days have been exploding with clarity and motivation. Last week I looked to the coming semester with trepidation...last semester wore me out. Or perhaps the semester before that wore me out and made last semester rather trying. Whatever it was, left. I think it was Saturday, driving with the windows down with my husband and dog in the car, heading toward a dog park with dear friends. My feet on the dash I remember thinking, "Now THIS is exactly where I'm supposed to be." It can't all be blamed on school, however.

This is going to sound profoundly cornball, but I watched a show the other day that made me realize how much perception has to do with accepting yourself. I realized that I had been doing battle with my body and in essence hating it, when that had never been my personality before so it was very strange to be in my own skin and sort of loathe it. I guess maybe when you start honoring your body it starts honoring you back and reminding you that nobody's perfect, but everyone is beautiful.

Happy (belated) New Year!

I freaking love the beginning of the year! Not only is my birthday mere weeks away but everything feels so fresh and clean - there's a whole year of possibilities just waiting for you to go out and make something of them, and it's always very exciting. I would say that I don't have New Years Resolutions but this year I kind of do. Since giving up meat I've been taking much better care of my body, including drinking less alcohol (I mean, at least since the beginning of the year, all 5 days of it or whatever) and cutting dairy products out of my diet. I noticed the biggest change yesterday when I went out for lunch at Macaroni Grill and had the eggplant parmesan....and then a good helping of a colleague's birthday cake. Since being veggie I've noticed this crazy clarity and spike in energy and yesterday I crashed in a coma on the couch for a good hour and a half. It felt really icky. I took my dog on a walk and drank some water, which made it better. It may have been the milk/sugar overload that did me in. What's been totally puzzling to me is, did I just feel like that and not pay attention to it? In which case I have to say many apologies to my body because I've been treating it horrendously for the last few years. It's as if my senses are more aware of what is going on in my body, and it's...dazzling. That's the only word for it, dazzling.

I guess part of the reason for all this clean living is because we've been talking about buying a house soon, which brings in conversation about our life path and when we're going to have children and such, which will probably be in the next few years, and I want my body to be in the best shape possible. I also want to run a triathlon when I'm 25, and my friend Kate earlier this week sent me a Danskin update, which has gotten me totally excited. I am also seriously considering the Muddy Buddy in Austin. I know that marching band was my main source of exercise throughout college, but I feel like I'm in much better shape now than I was then. I can at least now run for a considerable amount of time without getting totally winded, and I can ride a bike at least 15 miles without even really thinking about it. I write about my journey of working out at http://ihatetorun.blogspot.com. I really used to hate running, even way back in middle school when I was in track because the geeky boys I had crushes on were also in track. That was probably the last time I was in really fantastic shape.

This whole turning 25 in a couple weeks has me reeling a bit, and I didn't think it would. I definitely feel different on this birthday, and have been making some realizations about being an adult, about who I want to be professionally, and the things in my life including stressers, thoughts of the past/how screwed up my life used to be, and even what kind of people I want to surround myself with. For the New Year, we went to Boerne to my uncle's ranch with my cousin and some of their friends. I had met these friends back in college and we all ended up really hitting it off again. I turned to my cousin Joel and said, "Why do I always have such an awesome time with you and your friends?" (I mean, really - some of the best times of my life have been with him and/or people he's introduced me to.) He replied, "Because I don't have friends that suck! I may only have a few friends, but they're all awesome."

Another "resolution" I guess is that the hubs and I need to get out and do stuff more often. Today we went to the dog park, and I'm going to start looking for some nice live music to go see...perhaps at least a show a month. I'm a huge fan of the DMA late nights, but I know Dallas has more to offer, and I'm going to dedicate this year to exploring it.

Whew! Time to quit procrastinating on putting away the laundry :)
X

Fasting

This past Wednesday, I had to give my body a break from the weird "vegetarian"-ness I endured while traveling, which included lots of beans, cheese (blegh) and seafood. When we got home, I laid on the couch for several hours moaning that I was dying (I maybe get a little over dramatic when I'm sick...) because I had a cold that I'm pretty sure I had gotten from the hubs. 

I had endured raging cold sores on the bottom of my tongue, the right side of my cheek, and two on my bottom lip for the last week. Something was NOT right with my body. To make matters worse, on New Year's Day, I woke early EARLY in the morning feeling totally nauseous. So Wednesday morning I found a place nearby where I could get wheatgrass AND cucumber juice so I drank that all day, along with lots and lots of water. I broke fast that night with some green stir-fry, much less of a portion that I would usually eat. The next morning, folks, was amazing. I had nothing but green tea and fruit for breakfast and I was totally buzzing with energy. I thought that not eating for a day would be horrendous, but it was surprisingly refreshing and when I drank the wheatgrass and cucumber juice, I felt my body saying, "Ahhhhhhhh...." and smiling at me. I know you're supposed to break a fast with broth or something, so maybe I'll do that next time...