Day 1.5

This morning was rather hectic - I freaked out because I had lost my keys and was supposed to run errands and drop off some books and things in Lewisville but after losing my car keys for a good hour (they were on the kitchen table under some napkins - doh) I just stayed home and waited for K to get home/have lunch/help me pack and decided it would be okay for me to send the books back tomorrow in the mail.

I made it to Austin around 4pm and set to work painting my room and getting everything put together - it took about five and a half hours to get the room painted, all my stuff moved in, the light switch and one outlet replaced (there are more to do but those two took too long, but I still feel like wonder woman 'cos I did those two ;op) I have a closet but no rod for my clothes so I'm living out of about four suitcases right now.

Carlos went running at Zilker and upon arriving back home informed me we had reservations at Kenichi at 10:30pm.  Why eat so late? I live with musicians, and the unfortunate thing for my upcoming eight-to-fiver is that we are ALL night owls.  We hopped on Carlos's motorcycle and all I could think of at first was all the statistics of head injuries and a client-to-be of mine at my internship that oops fell off the back of a truck one night and hit his head and now he's a not at all walking, barely talking individual because no I wasn't wearing a helmet.  But when we came over the hill on South 1st and the skyline stretched before us, I forgot everything except the exhilarating love I have for this city, for the opportunity to be here. I even for half a second forgot about how bummed I am that K isn't here with me, but it all rushed back rather quickly. Dinner was of course incredible, and then we walked down and had a double espresso at Halcyon.  After all that I have a hard time believing that things are going to be any more awesome.  I told C that us living together is going to be way more fun than it would've been when I was in college because I've grown up a lot.  I'm excited about being roomies with C and F - I've never lived with boys (except K) and have also never lived so closely with musicians.  It was cool earlier because I got to hear them rehearse and write music...it was a cool insight to the whole process. 

So tomorrow - C leaves on a trip and I'm going to hopefully get my room/the bathroom more up to working order.  I have dreams of running at Zilker and getting my bike fixed but seeing as it's 3:14 am it's looking less and less likely.  Saturday I'll be tubing it up with my NB boys and Sunday there may be a Bob Schneider show in the works.  Who knows.  Then I start my job MONDAY!  Crazy.

i FOUND it!

After doing some research, K decided to use Benjamin Moore paint or more specifically, the Eco-Spec variety. Because I painted and re-painted several rooms, I was thankful that this stuff was so low odor. I mean like, freakishly low-odor. Also, the paint is fantastic. The Eco-Spec only comes in gallons and cannot be used for really saturated colours, but it's definitely worth a consideration.

Blessed

I think Sarah has me scheduled for something fun every day this weekend just so I won't get lonely my first weekend in Austin. I forgot to mention this in the last post but the other reason I picked Austin is because I knew being away from K and the kind of work I would be doing, I would need a tremendous support group. I am continually awed and humbled by my awesome friends :)

Accountability

Sunday (sick)

Monday (sick)

Tuesday AM - ran .84 miles, PM - planning on one more bikram session w/Candace :)

I hate that I got sick and had to not work out those days. Grrr...

3 Days

I am moving to Austin on Thursday. Packing commences tomorrow because today I am recovering from a Memorial Day/Weekend camping trip that was LOTS of fun, but I drank beer and ate meat in the same day and it's wreaking unholy havoc on my intestines. Lesson learned.

K and I went to Ikea and got me something to sleep on...I've gotta sew up a cover for the little futon (which will by the way be on sale in 6 months) but my machine is still packed up, so I'll wait 'til I get stuff set up and can make a run to the fabric store. I'm taking a very minimalist approach to this living situation - the room is not all that large and quite frankly all I need besides somewhere to sleep is a dresser, a closet, and maybe a lamp or two. I get to paint it, too, so I have to decide on that colour. Hm.

Anyway, I cried for the first time last night about not being able to vent and cuddle with the hubs every night...sometimes I think I'm totally insane for doing this. Then I think "Hey - I've never lived on my own before, this'll be a grand adventure." Something somewhere in between is where I'm sure I will land. I decided on Austin because well, I love Austin, duh. It will be so interesting to get to experience the city not as a student with band and class obligations. There are some other really important things to remember. First, I have little to no experience in the psychiatric arena. This setting will have me way outside my comfort zone and hopefully will provide me with opportunities to grow. Speaking of growing, I will be by myself, yes, but I have to finish my thesis, study up for my orals, and also study for my music therapy board certification. This will give me the opportunity to develop professionally and personally and not have to worry about all the little things that go along with having a house, a dog, a husband - cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, taking care of the dog, picking up after myself and someone else. Do not misunderstand me...I thoroughly enjoy being married and all the little things it entails...I am just...easily distracted :) and if I don't have a house to futs with, I'll get much more done in terms of schoolwork. Especially because 9 times out of 10 if I have something to do and K says "Hey let's watch a movie/go eat somewhere/work on stuff in the garden" I'm going to do that and procrastinate on school stuff. Finally, I'll be done in December. That right there is motivating me in so many ways it's almost difficult for me to endure these three days and just get started already.

So yeah - working at the nut house. I'm sure I'll have lots of great stories.

Accountability

5/23 - Rested
5/24 - AM Bikram, sweated more than the first time...seriously. Niagra-like sweating. I think my cold is gone, though, and I can sure breathe more easily. Totally rad.

I have a 5 days for $5 thing at the yoga place, so that'll be my workout for the next couple days. Much needed. I did research on Christianity and yoga, because it's taboo for lots of folks. One side of the argument says that the poses are inseparable from Hindu faith practice, which I understand. However, how can I commune with Krishna during those poses? I do not worship Krishna, don't even know him/her. I do know Jesus, and pray during yoga - I breathe out negativity and breathe in Peace, Grace, and Understanding. I don't say Namaste, do not bow at the end, I just give thanks to God for the hour of peace and quiet I've just enjoyed.

Thoughts?

hear that?

it's the sound of my ovaries. screaming.

maybe because i've made thousands of trips up and down the stairs to my apartment carrying loaded boxes today and am finally coming to grips with the fact that we have a HOUSE and it's totally awesome and cozy and totally us...but, I was sent a link to one of my best friend's newborn baby daughter's first photo shoot and i cried.

Accountability

Monday: AM - Ran .5 miles, PM - walked 30 minutes
Tuesday: AM - Walked 3 miles, PM - Biked 13 miles
Wednesday: AM - Ran .67 miles
Thursday: AM - Walked 2.2 miles, PM - hot yoga for an hour

still doing that triathlon thing

between the last weeks of school, moving, being sick, and grandpa passing away my triathlon training routine has completely gone to crap. I am confident enough in my swimming and biking to know that I can make it through those two portions of the race. It's just the running that's been tough. The loss of my beloved iPod was also a setback because I pretty much can't run or bike without music. Anyhow, I ran a little more than half a mile yesterday morning and walked for 30 minutes last night. This morning, I walked my dog 3 miles and plan to either do the same this evening or do a swim or bike session. I plan to keep the following workout schedule: run/swim/run/bike/run/swim/run/bike etc. because I need to work up my running slowly so I don't hurt myself but also get back into the biking/swimming thing. I hope I make it through this thing with a smile on my face...

whirlwind

So last week we got everything moved in on the same day that my grandfather-in-law passed away so it was kind of a scramble to get things taken care of before we had to leave town for 5 days.

Anyone who's been married knows that it takes a few years to get really comfy with the in-laws and I felt like this trip, perhaps because the nature of it, I was just another one of the crowd. It was nice because my mom even flew up for the wake & the funeral. I played my first funeral at the request of grandma K - "Jesus Loves Me" and "You Are My Sunshine" both of which are on the Music Therapy Top 10 List. One of the aunts even procured a guitar for me in St. Louis, which was a total blessing because the options for getting my guitar up there were a) Take it as a carryon, but it was outside the width/height requirement b) Check it (no way man) or c) BUY IT ITS OWN SEAT ON THE PLANE. Does anyone actually DO option c? Anyway, all the grandkids got up to sing during the funeral, which went pretty well until the last line of "You Are My Sunshine" where we all choked at the same time. I was told it was good and that we just kept singing but I don't remember any of that. Grandpa was in the Navy during WWII so they had the whole military ceremony for his burial which was absolutely beautiful.

So now we're back home - the hubs was sick yesterday but we got a considerable amount of stuff cleared away...I have a TON of pictures and such to post but I can't for the life of me find the cord that I need to do that ;op

sadness

Grandpa Kleisly passed away yesterday so we're going to St. Louis tomorrow evening. I'll write more later. Sorry, guys.

house hilariousness

okay so between finishing up school and getting ready to move (TOMORROW!) I've been terribly lax in updating.  Here's a few headlines (I'll post more to this when I get the chance)

1. We finished the fence!

2. my husband passed out!

3. Jake escaped his harness...a little like Houdini, kind of amazing!

4. I swung and missed on YET ANOTHER paint colour!

5. Need to make salsa?  I will in a few months be totally ready for it!

one of those days...

The plan for the day has fallen miserably through the cracks.  So much for productivity.  It started with a big red blob of a rain storm this morning that crashed through Carrollton at about 8:30am and made the power go off.  So, I couldn't shower OR eat breakfast.  When stuff finally got back to normal, I made it to school, put together the new SAMT president's binder, then had to go to the student union office to get sandwiches for our intern party tonight where NEITHER of the folks I needed to talk to were in, and then I realized that I had left my phone at home so I had to drive ALL the way back to Carrollton to get it because I'd left it as my contact whenever the union people got back.  I got home, searched EVERYWHERE for my phone and couldn't find it, then remembered this morning when I reached in the back seat to get my backpack...yup, my phone was in the back seat the whole time.  

My best friend Haley once asked, "Is it really frustrating, being you?"  I think we all know the answer to that question.

In other news, I registered for the triathlon today.  Should probably get back into training every day.  Also, I got 7 paint samples up on the wall yesterday to cover over barfy blue.  Hopefully we can decide in the next couple days.

If I looked on the bedside table next to you, what would I find?
My bible, a lamp, a journal, and some tissues

Do you go to the bathroom with the door open or closed?
Depends on if anyone's home or not.

Are your underwear and socks folded in your drawer or just thrown in?
Some are folded, some are thrown in.

Sleep on your back or stomach?
Side

Are you a cuddler?
YES YES YES

What would I find if I looked UNDER your bed?
Nothing right now, it's all packed away

Something that happened today that made you angry?
Nothing at all - I've been up since 5 and have been by myself, so...nothing really.

What were you doing before this survey?
Catching up on internet stuff, ABOUT to finish my paper and then I saw this.  Thanks, D.

What will you do after the survey?
Finish a term paper

Marriage or living together?
Mawedge

What shirt are you wearing now?
A black halter with a purple half-sweater

Do you sing?
It's part of my job description

Do you de-label your beer bottles?
every last one.  

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
Hide them, mostly

Is there something you regret and wish you could take back?
of course

First thing you do when you wake up?
blow my nose

Ever had surgery?
Wisdom teeth taken out

Last argument you got into with?
hubs - it probably had to do with moving/house renovations

Do you tend to rip the paper off water bottles?
I don't buy water bottles any more

What's one good thing about your best friend?
she's been there for 20 years and will be there forever :)

How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night?
Depends on if my sleepmate is snoring or not

Current song on myspace?
I recently ditched myspace. 

When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep?
gosh, yes.

If you were given the chance to take care of a monkey for a weekend, would you?
of COURSE! Unless it was a poo-flinging monkey

What is the current advertisement on the side of the screen?
nothing - just my  iChat

What are you looking forward to in the next few months?
moving to Austin, tailgating, starting my internship, living in the same city as most of my bestest girl friends :)

Who are you texting?
nobody right this minute

It's Wednesday afternoon, where are you usually?
Well before this week I would have said at a music therapy session and then working on schoolwork, but for the next few weeks it's going to be working on the house and moving and then after THAT I'll get off work at 5pm and probably go somewhere to work on my thesis.

Honestly, if you could have ANYONE in the world, who would it be?
My husband.  Honestly.  Oh, and maybe James McAvoy.

Your Christmas list consists of?
Lowe's/Home Depot/Anthropologie gift cards :)

You're going to New York for school shopping, where do you go first?
H&M

You need a new pair of jeans, what store do you go to first?

American Eagle

How do you feel about your hair?
Thinking about dying it blonde.

What movie is in your DVD player?
Nothing.  I think the DVD player is packed already.

If you could move away, no questions asked, where would you move?
SPAIN.

How much do looks matter to you in a guy/girl?
What matters is that I still get butterflies when Kyle looks at me :)

What's the greatest thing that happened to you today?
I got some English breakfast tea and am overlooking the lake at Mozart's

How many TRUE best friends do you have?
I'm blessed with a few - boys and girls.

What would you change about your life right now?
Nothing, really.

What’s the best feeling in the world?

Waking up realizing that the hubs's made me some of his world famous blueberry muffins.  ;o)

not as hippie as i thought

I had dinner with the folks at the Whitehall Coop last night and it was a really good time!  I showed up just in time to harvest chard from the garden and I helped make a rockin' salad - the girl I cooked with made homemade pesto with pecans and basil from the garden and the neighbors brought over some of the most awesome garlic hummus I've ever had.  It was a great night meeting lots of new people and such, but I left with a tummy ache.  I think it was the radishes.  I also had the realization that while it's a really cool place to live, I don't think I could do it.  So, I'm not going to.  I'm moving in with my cousin at the end of May :)  I can't believe my internship starts in a few short weeks!

breathing out, breathing in

breathing out three years of the hardest work I've ever done, the best grades I've ever made, the most progress I've made on myself as an individual ever in my short lifetime

breathing out awkwardness, anger I've held on to, friends who have done me wrong, times I have not been my true self.

breathing in the air of possibilities, joy, faith, happiness, peace, success, possibilities and above all, love.

The damp air of the hill country intoxicates me - brings me back to me :)  I so totally needed it.

Dinner with the hippies tonight - do I bring flowers or maybe sangria fixin's?

I know knowing me this goes without saying but I love love LOVE Austin.  Like, in a jumping on the couch, shout it from the rooftops kind of way.

things I learned from my sisters

I am not the generally warm-fuzzy let's all talk and cry about our feelings sort of girl all the time so it may come as a surprise that I was involved with 3 different sororities during my undergrad. Probably the most...controversial? (not sure if that is the right word) decision I made (maybe controversial in my own head) was to join TBS my senior year of band.  I recently had a professor ask me why I would join a sorority my senior year and I think at the time...no wait, I know...that I had something to prove in terms of that sorority.

I came to school fresh from a high school program where I loved people, loved to serve my band (how dorky is THAT statement right there?), and just loved service in general.  When I got to UT I did probably every service event that TBS put out there, not because I wanted to get into the organization necessarily but because I just liked hanging out with the people, liked serving.  I had no way of knowing that I was being judged on how good I was as a person by several members.  It became clear as years went by and I never got a bid that I was maybe not cut out to serve the band with this elite group.  I didn't understand it, other people didn't understand it either, but the way the system was set up let lots of personal issues get in the way of who got into the organization.  My husband was even president of the brother-organization and he didn't know what was going on, but it was still fun (albeit awkward) to show up with him to functions.  Not awkward for me so much, but I could see it in everyone else's eyes, as if my worth came from whether others thought I was good enough.  I remember the day after everyone got their bids my dear friend and I went to band rehearsal (her story is similar in some ways to mine) and I said, "I feel like everyone is looking at us." Like, that it was some huge tragedy we hadn't been picked.  Again.

So somehow the rules got tweaked and bent (no really, the person who was president at the time really did change everything) and I was given a bid, apparently by unanimous vote.  My roommate at the time also got one, and she definitely was going to take it because she had been given a bid earlier and then dropped out because of school stuff.  I was a wreck about it.  There was so much drama wrapped up into this decision - was I walking away from the other two sororities (both which were in different ways very...opinionated about this one)? The president -who was also a good friend at the time- was convinced that I was going to show up at a meeting and burn the bid, and I nearly didn't show up to one of the first things we did together.  I remember driving to the place we were supposed to meet completely in tears.  My roommate talked me through it and said that I could drop out at any time, to just come to this meeting and see how it goes.

I ended up getting all the way through pledging and becoming a member, then realized that serving when I had to write down all the hours and being forced to show up to events that were sometimes pointless but supposed to make us bond as sisters was making me into a really unhappy person.  Top it off with the deterioration of a friendship with aforementioned president and my decision to attend the national music therapy conference in Austin (*sidenote: I had JUST decided to seriously start looking into MT and the conference was IN TOWN and my sister had completely paid the $300 super late fee or whatever for me to go) instead of a 24 day of talking about who should be allowed in the organization and the fact that that got me put on probation in the organization was a recipe for disaster.  I tell people now that if I knew then what I know now about TBS, I wouldn't have joined it.

Except, my pledge class. 

Most of the girls were freshmen when we got bids, and that means that they came into band when I was New Man (I think they call it New Member now) Advisor.  We're a seriously motley crew (crue?) of ages and experiences and personalities, which was to be expected in a group of 20 something girls.  I cannot adequately put into words what the time spent with these girls did for me.  They were the ones who kept me going, kept me sane when I had to deal with all kinds of BS that last year and a half.  I had way more fun getting to know them than pretty much anyone else in the organization, and we as a group in our absurd, quirky, irreverent way made a place for ourselves in the legacy of TBS.  I mean, during one event we were put in a tent and made to write a poem about how wonderful and glorious the organization is so what did we do?  Slam poetry. And a haiku.  Don't get me wrong, we loved band and loved the organization, but I think we were from the get-go over the you're-going-to-feel-nostalgic-about-this-because-someone-else-is-telling-me-that's-how-I-should-feel thing.  It took us a long time to really bond as a class, but I think all the awkwardness forced us to be genuine with each other. One of us said last night that we're going to end up ruling the world one day - one is in Hollywood, one in New York at school, one is in London, others in graduate school, all living their dreams.

I was going to be in Austin anyway this weekend, and when I found out that our last two pledge sisters are graduating and being "roasted" I tried to get our whole pledge class together to be there, which turned into 4 people at dinner and then just 2 at the event, with one sending love via Email.  It was a surprise, and the looks on the faces of the girls was totally priceless.  When we FINALLY got around to talking about you girls, I was truly honored to have started out in this organization with you. So many girls had much to say about how strong, inspiring, and rock star y'all are which made me giggle because I vividly remember your first days in band.  I treasure all of the pledge class but I think it is poetic that you two were the last ones standing, because y'all are far more rock star than any of us.  L and B, you are fabulously strong women, and you know that, and you don't compromise yourselves in any way for anyone, which is something I really admire.  B you are so shamelessly smart and humble at the same time that it baffles me and getting to talk to you nearly every day is a joy. L you are so genuine and hilarious and I've never really been able to trust someone who is as nice to everyone as you, but I do trust you.  Last night I remembered what a huge impact individual people can have on each other's lives, and y'alls beautiful words of wisdom, advice to do what makes you happy, to really truly care about other people, to really listen to people, honestly was like blowing on dying embers in my soul. So from the bottom of my heart, thanks for that. Also, hearing the love that you guys have for the organization and for people in general reflected back at you was just a testament to how wonderful y'all are, and I was so proud of y'all.  Happy graduation, folks - go show the world how it's done.

little boy ____ come blow your horn...

Rarely do I do things well when I am pressed for time.  A fabulous example of this is when I ordered wedding invitations.  Not only did I not order enough, I accidentally put Austin instead of Arlington on the return address part (thank goodness the zip code was right) and then I misspelled the in-law side of the family's last name.  It was a mess, a mess I attribute to the fact that I was trying to get through my first year of graduate school.

We've had lots of conversations about what colour the living room/kitchen area should be.  I want warm in the living room, green in the kitchen, while my better half wants the opposite.  We even went as far as deciding on a greyish blue for the living room.  Well, even though it's my last week of class we decided that I was perfectly capable of picking out a paint colour by myself so I went over to the paint store in Plano and picked out (what I thought was) a lovely shade of grey/blue.  I got home and with the help of my lovely and talented assistant Candace got it up on the walls. It was nighttime and she graciously let me obsess all night about the paint color because it was not in fact coming out blue/gray but LITTLE BOY'S ROOM BLUE.  If I get to the house later today I'll take a picture.  And next week, when all the stress of school is done, I'm painting over it.