33 weeks

I wouldn't mind if the baby showed up a little bit early. Somewhere in the 37-38 week zone would be gravy. 

That's 4 weeks from now.

Jeepers.

week 32 update

I've started going to the midwife every 2 weeks (!!!) and everything looks great - she could feel the baby is in a good position (if you're me, head is down, back is to the left, pointing to the right) which explains why I feel way more movement on the right side. Numbers-wise, I've gained 28 pounds total so far, and she did a blood test last visit and my glucose levels are good, and she said that I'm not anemic but am on the low side of normal for iron (which would partly explain why I've been so exhausted lately) so she suggested adding spirulina, chlorophyll (you can find these two things in the Odwalla or Naked Super Food drinks), more dark leafy greens, beans, and of course red meat...I'm thinking cheeseburgers and mashed sweet potatoes with kale for dinner sounds about right :) The best part about seeing a midwife is that we spent an hour talking about health, diet, exercise, labor preparation, and whatever else I could think of. I asked her about how many weeks past a woman's due date she's comfortable with before doing any sort of "induction" (evening primrose oil, stripping membranes, castor oil, etc) and she said that she'll go 42 weeks and then call her backup OB for his input. Mostly she just said that babies show up when they're ready and if someone got the dates wrong or it's just not time yet the best thing to do is be patient. In life in general, if the baby's like Kyle it'll be early and if it's like me, it'll be late. Maybe we'll compromise on somewhere in the middle ;)

My doula came over to our house last Sunday to chat with Kyle and I about what a typical birth progression looks like, what we can expect, and what her role will be - which is supporting the two of us, explaining what is normal, helping Kyle support me in the best way possible, and most importantly being there at our house early in the labor process before we go to the birth center. We also discussed worst case scenario options, which hopefully we won't have to worry about but if for any reason we have to transfer to a hospital with my midwife's backup OB/GYN, she'll be yet another advocate for whatever-is-good-for-the-baby-with-least-amount-of-interventions.  

Aaaand the bathroom remodel started this week, as if we didn't have a million other things going on. Coming home every day to see the progress is really cool - and makes me really REALLY grateful we've decided to get contractors and not try to DIY this sucker.

more on the name debate...

overheard in the sleepy morning hours: 

K: "I found another name I like."

C: "Like, for real this time?"
K: "Yes. Emmett."

C: "As in, Smith?"
K: "Noooo...as in Brown! Doc from Back to the Future?"

"Apparently it's also a Twilight character..."

*****

In other news, life and work are good...I'm getting better every day at the balancing act. Today I'm supposed to be going to a conference called Understanding the Needs of the Dying. I'm all registered up and can't seem to get motivated. I think it's because there haven't been many days lately where I get to choose to sit and just be. Let the crafting, yoga, swimming, decorating, organizing, cleaning obligations wait while I idle a day away with my thoughts and maybe a journal or a musical instrument. We got to do a little of this life-enjoying with some friends in Tulsa a few weekends ago and it was glorious. No need to rush to be anywhere, just chat, swim, walk, nap, enjoy each other's company.

I picked up my journal from over a year ago and wow am I a busy individual. I was at once starting a new job, finishing my thesis, and training for a triathlon. The thought right there makes me want to hide under the covers for a week. I am learning to slow down and enjoy more. At first it wasn't a lesson I welcomed but now I bask in the gloriousness of it.

Of course, I still have obligations to fulfill but I'm learning that it's okay to be a little selfish, to say no. My professional life requires me to give all day every day. Me time is not a luxury but a necessity.

30 Weeks?!

On Friday I had an appointment with my midwife which was kind of like a party because my doula was there. It was the first time she and my midwife had officially met and they had such a wonderful instant rapport that it put me at ease, made me confident in the choices K and I have made concerning prenatal care. There was such a strong energy of love, respect, and strength in that exam room that was almost tangible, and I left my appointment grinning. I've now gotten to the point where I'll be checking in with my midwife every 2 weeks! Seriously I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around how we got here.

In terms of the books I've been reading (besides Mockingjay duh) I've moved on to Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Breast Feeding, which I've learned a lot from. Part of the reason we chose the less-medicalized birth route is how important I believe breastfeeding to be and the desire to stay away from interventions that have been shown to hinder the process (induction, C-Section, whisking the baby away immediately after birth, etc.). This is another topic that people are really passionate about and that women have a ton of baggage associated with it - whether or not they felt supported or successful as breastfeeding mothers is HUGE, and people are NOT afraid to share. I grew up in a family where yes modesty is valued but of greater importance is being comfortable with your body. Plus, my mom is one of those militant Breast is Best freedom fighters, and was adamant about breastfeeding all of her children...the first two of which were born when it wasn't all that popular in her family (except, she was in California and a hippie, so she did it anyway).

The other book I'm really excited about is a book called Mother Rising that talks about American culture's lack of ceremony regarding rites of passage...lack isn't the right word exactly, but...I guess the superficiality of them. I got to thinking about my rites of passage...I didn't have a quincinera, although my grandmother was a HUGE proponent. I was a debutante though, and as much as I get made fun of for it, the benefits of that program and the friendships I've gained have been far-reaching. Even last month I had to call upon the gracious girly skills to participate in a luncheon with the individuals who fund several music projects where I work, including the music therapy program. I definitely see that time in my life as a turning point toward adulthood. 

Then in college there are various rites of trial and passage - auditions to various ensembles, inductions into sororities, graduation, etc. The one I have a special place in my heart for is my pledge class's induction into SAI. It was a little different than it had been done before, but the words, quotes, and songs from that ceremony have stuck with me since 2001 because they so eloquently express how I feel about love and music.

Sorry, tangent. Basically how this relates to becoming a mom is that baby showers sort of are like rites of passage, but generally speaking there is not a ritual in American culture where a mother to be sits around with the women who she has been strengthened by her whole life for a time to gain wisdom about the passage into motherhood and a time for the momma to be to be strengthened and pampered. Different people call these different things - sometimes a blessingway or a mother blessing. All I know is it's going to involve strong women, good bonding time, good music, and uplifting words, and hopefully it's something that my girlfriends and I keep going as we each become mommas.

In baby room news, well...mostly I guess I should label this a house update because there's a bunch of crazy stuff going down in the casa. First off, since we don't have enough going on in life right now we've decided to renovate the oompa loompa master bathroom. Not expand it, just work with the existing framework and upgrade/streamline it a bit. The final plans are in, and a guy is coming out Wednesday to take measurements for the cabinets. What that means is that we've gotta move out of our bathroom/bedroom in the next week.  

That in turn translates to the mother of all purges and rearranges this house has ever seen. 

This morning saw the cleaning out and re-purposing of the front hall closet. I'm still dreaming of the day when Kyle will have his own beer brewing station out in the garage, but for now I can deal with the plethora of empty beer bottles. He even found some unopened brew from couple years ago and yelled "Jackpot!" They're in the fridge - I'll let you know how they turn out.

The verbosity of this post is entirely because I'm taking a break from moving all my stuff out of my closet/side of the dresser into the baby room closet, packing up and sorting through the clothes that no longer fit me or are no longer my style (total bags/boxes to Goodwill or Half Price Books today alone: 7) It feels ridiculous good to be doing this, the clearing out of the old to make way for the new. Phew. Okay. Back to work!

UPDATE: The beer is delicious. I know you were all on the edge of your seats.