brain donation

I swear, people lose their brains around pregnant women. I don't know how many times this week I've heard, "You're still pregnant?" and because I can't be nice for very long I took to saying things like, "oh! *looks down at belly* am I? Weird!" I should probably stay away from my blog right now because I am suuuuper cranky...I had a good cry earlier because we're having a ton of family come in for Thanksgiving this year and I had this whole vision earlier of how it was going to be: sitting on the couch, cooing over the baby, etc. etc. I have to admit I feel silly, and I am not looking forward to the million comments of how I'm still pregnant, and that I should just:

have sex

stimulate your nipples

eat spicy food

go for a walk

go for lots of walks

did you know that having sex stimulates labor?

take herbs orally

get a pedicure

get a massage

try every pressure point on your body

put evening primrose oil caps up your vajayjay

are you walking a lot?

you should get another pedicure

hey have you tried tweaking your nipples?

i mean, you and your hubby should get it on.

The concept of a due date is evil. nobody really knows when conception actually happened, and the whole consequence of "overdue-ness" as a result that is gotten from the general public is dumb. One is overdue past 42 weeks. The end. Saying that someone is "late" is crap. Babies are always on time, and there's nothing wrong with someone just because they've gone past some arbitrary calculation.

I know I have said dumb stuff to pregnant ladies before, but I will definitely be more informed. As a review, let's go down a small list of things that have actually been said to me that are no help at all:

Hey, fatso!

Are you sure you can get up from sitting down there?

You're pregnant? I thought you were just fat! 

Are you effaced or dilated yet? (especially when it's from you know, someone you barely know)

When are you due? I feel like you've been pregnant forever?

The anticipation is killing me! (really? really.)

Have you had your baby yet? You haven't posted anything on facebook.(for the record, we probably won't.)

I know most of it comes from a good place and people are curious and it's not their fault they haven't been through something like this and forgot how to use their brains and everything but wow. There have been complete strangers who have been incredible boosts, and I encourage you (and myself) to take their lead when speaking to an obviously very pregnant woman. Instead of opinions or postulations on gender or whatever, try:

You are so beautiful! (thanks, random lady in the hallway!)
You are so adorable!
You. Glowing. Love it.
That is one lucky baby.
Have you been staying working out this whole pregnancy? Because you look great.
You can do this! Hang in there!
You look amazing!

If I were going to get all therapist on myself (I mean, who can resist) I would recognize that a lot of frustration is a mask for the anxiety and uncertainty I'm feeling. I went to my weekly midwife appointment this past Thursday and we discussed things like biophysical profiles (ultrasound, non-stress tests, kick counts, what have you) to make sure the baby is cooking along just fine and membrane stripping and castor oil for induction. I know that all of that is far better than a pitocin induction, but I can't help but think what if all that stuff doesn't work and I do end up with exactly the opposite of what I have tried to avoid?

It feels very much like the time I was interviewing to go to Spain on a mission trip and there were WEEKS of humming and hawing over whether I would be sent to a state-side project or overseas. It nearly drove me crazy. I WANTED Spain so badly and was convinced that that's where I would be going, but I didn't get my answer from the people deciding until I had an epiphany. Eventually it came down to a church service, where I was basically hit over the head with the fact that it was not about me, it's about God, and He's got it all figured out, so I should chill out. It sounds really flippant to say it like that I guess but in this case it means I have to be okay with going with the flow, and if I get to 42.5 weeks and end up in the hospital hooked up to a pitocin drip, I have to be okay with that too.

Okay. I promise the next post will be back to our regularly scheduled pleasantness.