Last night I went to have dinner with my dad in NB - he's always been quite mystified by this whole vegetarian thing. When I told him I was going to stop eating meat, he asked, "So...what do you eat at you know...restaurants?"
Um...vegetables? Is this a trick question?
I was quite pleased that he decided to grill fish last night when I threw him the "please don't grill me a portobello mushroom" curveball at him. After dinner we got in the pool and hung out for awhile and chatted. On the way home I realized that I had a really good time, and decided that I'm going to stop feeling guilty for having a halfway decent relationship with my dad. When I bounced the idea off another relative of mine, they were really really negative about it, saying that I would only have a superficial relationship with him and my stepmom and I'm such an idealist and I HAVE to be a realist about the situation blah blah blah blah blah. Honestly, I'm just tired of the drama. Life is far too short to carry all this baggage around, and if I'm going to get hurt for being optimistic, then fine. There's no way it could ever hurt as much as it did the first few years, when I felt my world was shattering around me.
The thing is, he's going to be 60 in September, and I don't want to have any regrets these next 20 years. Also to be fair, he's not pulled any crazy stuff since the wedding, so why stir the pot? I just feel so...over it all...and wish to at least try and walk in forgiveness, which I think is a much harder road to walk than stewing in anger.
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