Funny story - I went to Longhorn Alumni Band this weekend and at rehearsal during a water break I went to refill my water and KKY Pledge #1 says to me, "I'll get that for you, m'am." M'AM. Oh, Lord. KKY Pledge #2 then says to me, "I hate to disappoint 'cos I see you're a Beta and all (I was wearing my jersey) but this water has no vodka in it." I was stunned by the hilarity.
What I like about going back for LHAB besides the friends and 90,000+ people screaming for us as we march on the field and the post halftime snacks is the perspective I get from being there. College really rattled my cage in the sense that I felt like I was two people: the fun quirky praying churchey girl vs. the fun angry wild party girl. A lot of huge shifts happened for me in college and though I was involved with a Christian organization, I didn't feel like it or the people were a really genuine thing, and never really found a church where I belonged. Still working on finding my place in that whole story.
Anyway, I also had the tendency to cope with the craziness in my head all sorts of creatively destructive ways. This weekend brought a lot of that back with my own doing and I've realized that alcohol is really not a good thing for me - both sides of my family have strong alcoholism tied into it and while I've stopped using it to help me deal with situations, when I want to just have a drink and have fun I sometimes I go way overboard and end up waking up thinking, "Ugh. This is not the girl I want to be." I think I may have to give it up for awhile.
4 comments:
Is it bad that I don't want to go back to alumni band because I'm afraid of how I'll feel?
I'm chicken (and I was at a conference this time, so I had an out).
No, I think a lot of people don't do it because of how they'll feel, and a lot do it for how they'll feel - for me this year it was a lot of "how SHOULD I feel?" about this person or the other. I feel like I'm a very different person and maybe the people who knew me won't like me now or because I don't feel obligated to talk to anyone I was never friends with in the first place...does that make me aloof and mean?
That makes you horrible! Just kidding. One of the reasons I hate "reunion" type things is because I feel forced to talk to people I never really knew in the first place. You aren't alone.
I'm tickled to death by the KKY Pledge #2 comment. :)
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