GROSS!

Okay - this originally was going to be a cry for help. SOMETHING IS EATING MY PLANTS! More than frustrating, they're eating my tomato blooms! My lamb's ear! My sage! The horror! Here are some pics from the crime scene:

Now, in case you haven't noticed I've been a little preoccupied with such things as finishing my master's degree, and I've been a very bad Garden Mommy. But I'm back, and I'm ready to fight.

I've had some thoughts - maybe it's birds or worse, RATS snapping off my beautiful tomato flowers and dragging them off into the Great Beyond, so as a precautionary measure I encouraged my husband to pee on my plants. Hey, don't be ooged out, your grandparents did it. I also found out from the neighbor that rats are particularly bad around here and he's a sweet old wise man who has lived here awhile. No better place to get your gardening information.

I've had a sneaking suspicion that slugs were my nocturnal nemesis (nemeses?) because I saw their iridescent trails on the pavers a few weeks ago. 

Well, tonight the hubs and I were enjoying some Maredsous on the back porch after dinner and I thought "hey! My sweet sister over at thegerminatrix.com said that slugs were raging alcoholics..." so, I opened a less fancy beer and got out some plastic lids, poured about a half cm of beer in there and went inside. 

Folks, gratification has never been so swift. When the hubs went out 30 minutes later to let the dog out before bed, he exclaimed, "Dude, you are catching a sh*t ton of slugs with your beer." Thinking he was joking, I went outside and was giddy (and SUPER grossed out) at the sight of this:

Say it with me now: EEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!

But much in the way that popping that pimple feels sooooo good, I'm glad to finally figure out what's going on. Folks, they were literally CRAWLING OUT OF THE LAMB'S EAR. Poor thing. I'll be sure and take pics of the dead slugs in the morning.

Aren't you excited.