ONE MORE WEEK!

It's been a strange week, what with doing a triathlon in NB last weekend and doing another one next weekend. I felt like I didn't have the days to take off to recover because I'd have to just get right back out there and seriously ramp up my miles. Hence, I jumped in the pool on Monday and did a 1700 meter workout because my body was just driving me crazy, all itching to get moving again. In the end I took Tuesday and Wednesday off because WOW was my rear end feeling the effects of those crazy hills in NB, but then ran 2 miles on Thursday, biked 20 miles on Friday, swam the 1500 meters on Saturday and this morning did a brick.

What's a brick you say? I can't remember if I've explained this yet but it's where you bike then run, and "bruike" and "bikrun" aren't words. Anyway, it was a special brick because I have a "team" down in Austin that is doing the olympic distance with me, Kate and Ian, and I got the idea from Kate because she mentioned that they would be doing the long brick and it was going to be FUN! so I volunteered to do my own long brick up here. It was nice because I train a lot for this stuff by myself, but this morning I wasn't so much by myself. I also ran into the Plano cycling club so for a little while I really wasn't by myself, but the little Plano peloton kept on moving and left me to my thoughts on the White Rock Trail.

The bike was mostly uneventful - I was pumped to get a bike in on my new triathlon shorts. The ones I purchased for the Danskin last year were a MEDIUM and, um, I don't know if you've met me but there is nothing medium about my lower body so I have NO IDEA what I was thinking. Wishful thinking that all these crazy workouts would earn me a medium. HA! No dice :) So, I went to the local bike mart and picked up some shorter, more appropriately sized ones and WOW have they made a difference. They're cooler and lighter than the last pair, feel awesome. The only drawbacks are that I'm going to need some extra chafe-proof gel around the thighs because the seams rub, and there's generally a squishy part in the part of the pants where one sits whilst biking and that is quite a bit lighter, but it's only 24 miles, and instead of looking like a stuffed sausage I actually look really cute.

Because cute matters when you're swimming half a mile, biking 24, and running 6.2.

The RUN though today, oh my goodness was it AWESOME. MAGICAL, even. I know. Who is the person who's writing this blog and what have you done with Christina?! Well, in the first mile things got crazy in the stomach cramp department, so I took a pit stop at my house after which upon running again I hit this little spot of zen. The only way I can describe it is that I felt sort of like I was above myself, watching me run. I observed the pain in my calves (yowza), the overall exhaustion, but my breathing was really, REALLY great and I knew that no matter what I could keep running and be just fine. This was a big deal because running during races is really glorified walking. In fact, at my first tri this summer I was "running" and getting PASSED by WALKERS. Then at the tri last week I would run for a set amount of time, then walk. I've determined that it's not going to be like that this race. I need to suck it up and run the darn thing, even if I'm getting passed by power walkers, and even if it is only "running." I want to become a better runner before doing another triathlon so I've decided to start over from total scratch on the Couch-to-5k program after this tri is over.

I realized something important. I've been blessed to have grown up in a town where open water swimming was so readily available and where I HAD to learn to swim really early and have had a love for it all my life because I know for many people the swim is the toughest part. It's the best part for me, and I also really love to bike, so I think that if there were two events that I struggled with I think I'd not have such great time doing these races. The running part for me puts everything into perspective though because I have the time to think, to pray for the people who are supporting me through their funds and encouraging words and who have all fought the good fight against cancer, and no matter what I'm going through during the training or the races, it's nothing compared to what people who have actually battled the disease themselves have dealt with.

So, there's a little more time left to reach my goal. Please donate here: http://www.livestrong.org/grassroots2009/christinaaustri09

I'll be sure and take lots of pictures next weekend - it's going to be so fun, a football game in Austin and then the triathlon AND the weather has FINALLY had a break in the heat. It's going to be awesome. Thank y'all so much for your support on this adventure and keep livin' strong :)

much love,
Christina

wart are you talking about?

note to self: don't get blister beetle juice applied to a plantar's wart on your feet a couple days before a race. It feels like burning. No, this isn't the first time I've had this treatment done, and yes, it goes away after a couple days but let me just say OUCH!

I'm really getting excited about this triathlon, especially because I can RIDE MY BIKE from the house I grew up in down to the start on Saturday morning. I also noticed on the list of signups that there are lots of people in their 40s and 50s who signed up which means a) I'm not going to come in last or b) I'm going to get hosed by a bunch of middle aged folks.

I'm pushing for a but won't be surprised by b.

My current dilemma is that my hubs has taken my camera on a manly hiking trip to Colorado and I'm trying to decide if I want to tweet/take pictures during the race. Thoughts?

Speaking of the hubs and his manly adventure, here's the map he sent me to assuage my fears about being out of contact for 4 days.

RAWR.

You know what? Screw the eye infection - I'm going to do the Wurst Tri this coming Sunday.

Check out the first 40 seconds of the video. Hill.

thoughts for the evening

“Spread love everywhere you go: First of all in your own house… let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile. Kindness.”

Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Triathlon Update

So, I just realized that the Austin tri is in like, less than a month. I also would like to do the Wurst Tri Ever in NB, but I'm battling an eye infection and the day before, I'm scheduled back to see my beloved optometrist who now knows me by name. I would, however, like to get in one last sprint tri warmup before the big mamba jamba.

At camp I had two cancer-related things happen. First, one of my campers lost her mother to cancer, which she hardly spoke about. The next thing that happened was that a dear friend lost her mother to cancer. It seriously broke my heart when I heard because I know how much hope there had been for her to survive.

I have to admit that I've been slacking on training. I rolled my ankle in the garden a couple weeks ago and then did something stupid to my bike and I just a couple weeks ago got my ankle worked on and then last week went to camp and was in no way ready to wake up the required EARLY! to get out there on the road. This morning, though, I woke up with determination. I signed up for the Olympic Distance, which is a 1-mile swim, 24-mile bike ride, and a 10k run. It's due nearly entirely to peer pressure, and I'm really, really scared that I'm going to a) not finish or b) come in last. I figured that signing up for the longer distance would kick my bootie into gear. I was right.

This morning as I ran I thought and prayed a lot for my friend and her family, and thought a lot about strength and endurance both as they apply to racing a tri and to fighting cancer. I didn't come to any profound conclusions, just sent all the positive thoughts and strength I could muster and I recognized that the two were somehow connected. I'm glad that I can be doing something to feel empowered against the disease that's taken so much from me, my friends, and my family.

I have $625 more to raise, which is making me nervous, even though I know I have about two more months (ish) to get it together. I'm so blessed by the folks who've already donated and have sent along words of encouragement. Thanks for believing in me and in believing in the cause.

I'll be posting a lot more about the tri and training now that it's mere weeks (EEK!) away.

gardening in the shade

we've been amending soil and have now picked out plants - some of which we know where we want them. Others, not so much.  Here's some pics:

from left to right we've got cast iron plants, crimson azalea, another kind of azalea, two acubas, a hosta (R front) and gardenia

 

Here's cast iron again, then oxalis, and coleus all mixed up.

and because I love Martha, one little hydrangea and some sweet potato vines

and then in these last two you can see a baby elephant ear, mahonia, and callas.

any thoughts out there regarding garden design?

Reflections on Camp...

I miss it - all of it. Despite the triple-digit heat we had for six days, I miss:

singing blessings before every meal

braiding hair

making daisy chains

painting rocks

busting kitchen raids

swimming every day

"top secret" excursions to stargaze, and that whole adventure being a bust due to mosquitoes and some unidentifiable screeching animal 

sitting quietly while a camper pours her heart, her fears, her angry out, and finding something to do about it.

does a body good

Seriously, if there's one thing I'm looking forward to getting pregnant sometime in the future, it's the excuse to get a massage at least once a month. I have a dear friend Scott who is an absolute MIRACLE WORKER in the massage department. Here's his website. If you're in the DFW area or just planning to visit soon, you should schedule an appointment with him.

I rolled my ankle two weeks ago while working in the garden, which has put a big, sad, damper on my triathlon training. I scheduled a one-hour session with him this morning at 9am, and was greeted with this sign:

Definitely something I needed to take to heart today. When I was checking in with my therapist before the massage, I complained of my ankle and then said, "I don't know if this is relevant information, but I feel like I've been holding on to a whole lot of negativity lately." Instead of looking at me like I was cuckoo, he said, "That can certainly exacerbate the issue." 

See why I go to this guy?

Anyhow, throughout the session, I had to keep reminding myself to BREATHE and let everything GO and just enjoy the moment.

I walked out of there with an incredible lightness of being and sense of balance. I am a huge advocate of self-care, and tend to over-tell people to check in with themselves and treat themselves, even if it's just figuring out where your happy place is and trying to focus on that place for just a solid minute every so often throughout the day, maybe even say a prayer of gratitude or asking for help, without taking the time to do such things myself.
I'm going to try this next week, though, to do just that. I'm going to be off on Saturday morning for a week of summer grief camp and I know that self-care for me will be of utmost importance. I see it as a vessel of water - the more I pour out, the more that I have to be sure to fill myself up with, whether it be crochet or photography, playing music or working in the garden.

You don't have to be a therapist to need this stuff in your day though - like I said, that solid one minute of checking in with yourself can totally change your day. Give it a try and let me know how it goes. I'll do it too.

It Ain't Good

Last weekend I hung out with some friends in New Braunfels, tubing and just generally relaxing. I was pleased to find out that there was a Bob Schneider show going on at Whitewater, and I was thrilled at the prospect of spending a lovely Texas evening under the stars with good music.

The venue did not disappoint - the stage's backdrop is the Guadalupe river, the grounds are beautifully landscaped with native Texas plants, and we were quite literally tucked in between some hills. Another plus to the place was that their food was reasonably priced. I got two tasty vegetarian (rice, black beans, veggies, pico) tacos for $5, and the drink prices were pretty much standard for a music venue. 

Since I turned 25 I realized that I've seen more Bob shows in the form of his solo act or with The SCABS than I have of any other musician. The SCABS were my first Austin show - it was my 15th birthday (we lied and said I was 16 just so I could get in to the venue), I know all his songs, even worked for his PA for a little bit once upon a time when I wanted to be a music business maven, yet I can't say that I'm a big fan of his. There really used to be nothing like a live SCABS or Bob Schneider show. I remember when they would all dress up in marching band uniforms or their sharp black suits, and miscellaneous undergarments would get thrown on the stage, and every show was new, exciting, different. About 5 or so years ago, the shows became canned - everything the same, every time, with the variety being only in "It Ain't Good" (where members of the band can improvise) or his encore song (and even then only sometimes).

I appreciate his music and the lyrics and the scathing cleverness behind a lot of what he does, but this show...I don't know. Maybe because I was exhausted from a big day of being on the river, but I think lackluster is a good word to describe it. I found myself wishing that the last Bob show I went to at Lakeway last summer was the last show of his I'd ever seen, because it was amazing, lighthearted, and a heck of a party (plus, free!). Candace even said that she felt like everyone else was in on something that we were totally missing. There were so many things about the show that turned us off (from the T-shirts, the whole FAYM concept, and the first four really low-energy songs) I described it to her as a whole new generation of college kids who thinks the sun shines out of his behind, and we just happen to know better, or have grown up. We now know way too much about him and how he treats people to like him as a person, but still have to admit that his songs are quality. He is indeed a talented songwriter, and from what I hear, an inspiration to many in the singer/songwriter world. If you listen to Bob's ramblings on his website, you can tell - something is different. Things just ain't what they used be.

At any rate, after 11 years of enjoying his music live, though I will probably still use his songs in my lyric analysis for music therapy, I don't need to see him live ever again.

#sigh

today, the morning I get rid of my ACL 3 day pass, of which all are sold out, I found out that the company trip has been...

...wait for it.

r

e

s

c

h

e

d

l

e

d

*update: I had a long chat with my cousin last night, he helped put things into perspective. I'm disappointed that everything worked out like this, but it's just a music festival, and I trust God has his reasons. It was just a kick in the ribs after a really awful day. BUT, today is already better :)

oops, Monday? again?

So, in lieu of a made-up interview or one whereas I interview myself (and have time to make up startlingly witty answers), I've decided to take a gamble - how 'bout you guys ask me questions, and I'll answer them.  Feel free to ask more than one.

Ready go.

From Daina: What is your favorite instrument?

This is a really tough call. I love learning how to play new instruments and am blessed that I have a good ear and learn really quickly on any instrument.  I always say that piano is my first love in that I started playing when I was about 3, and therefore the range of expression on it is just mind-blowing. In fact, it's probably where my ear training and talent is based. The piano is at the center of why I decided to become a music therapist - I leaned on my piano (sometimes quite literally) when I was going through my mom's illness or my parents' divorce, all those things. My mom even said when I moved off to college she was most going to miss my 3am "recitals." I just love playing whatever instruments I can get my hands on. The trick is picking them up on a regular basis to get fluent with each.

From Daina: What is your favorite thing about music therapy?
This is really, really kind of tough for me to answer, but the first thought that came to mind is that music therapists work with all populations from mothers who are giving birth to hospice patients who wish to have the aid of music as they take their leave from life, and everything in between.

There's job security, especially when you work with the mental health populations.

Last week I was reminded of another favorite thing about music therapy - that the inherent things about music: the rhythm, the fun, its improvisational quality, are all things that change the lives of people every day. Where once there was an old lady sitting, screaming obscenities at someone, she is now playing drums, singing, reminiscing, dancing. Where once there was a child scared of everyone who came into their hospital room is now someone smiling, playing drums, creating songs.

I guess overall I'm just thankful that I get to use my favorite thing in the world to change peoples' lives, and that in turn changes and blesses me.

Yum, Drugs.

I've always been a proponent of remedying what ails my body in the most natural way possible. It was, after all, local honey that saved my poor bronchials from defeat several times while growing up in South Texas aka The Cedar Capital of the World (turns out I'm allergic to all things Juniper, something I learned during my senior Biology of Plants class in college). I even snuggle up close with my Neti-Pot when the weather turns to wheezing and general feelings of death-by-mucus.

However, I recently did some investigative work into my bloodwork history and discovered that my thyroid stimulating hormone levels have been teetering on the edge of screwy. "AHA!" I thought. I knew all the symptoms 'cos all the ladies in my family are plagued with various twists of thyroid tumult, including cancer and a fun little thing called Hashimoto's. In fact, at a bridal shower, I distinctly recall not only that the cake was super tasty but that every woman in my family sat around the table discussing what dosage of Synthroid they were on.  Kinda spooky.

So, I finally hauled my hair-falling-out, family-history-of-thyroid-issues, mildly depressed, foggy-brained, sleepy-from-the-time-I-wake-up-'til-I'm-asleep-again, can't-lose-weight-even-though-training/racing-triathlons-and-eating-really-healthy, to the doc, armed with bloodwork results and I'm glad to report that I've been on Synthroid for four days. You can say what you want about placebo effect, but oooh I feel the stormcloud lifting from my head. It started small, tiny rays of sunshine peeking through. It's almost overwhelming, the amount of energy I have throughout the day. I found myself wondering if they'd prescribed some kind of street-drug upper for me. Nope, just getting ye 'ole thyroid tweaked. I had even lost 5lbs as of this morning, and that's with some beers with dinner, ice cream from Sonic, and not working out as I twisted my ankle working in the garden last weekend.

Added bonus: the pills for the next two weeks are not only chewable but kinda citrusy. Nom.

Whew. I feel like I'm back, after who knows how long of not being so. Eesh. Good to be back.

Sweaty & Dirty in the Garden

I know, I know, it was 100+F this past weekend. However, the hubs had plans other than sitting around eating ice cream in the air conditioning. We quite literally worked outside all day, both days. Since resolving to get chickens, we've started a list of things we need to do, including getting a coop built, but also remedying the issue of the shady part of the garden where nothing ever grows. Here's what we did, in pictures: 

K is far more of a morning person than I am and when I woke up on Saturday morning, he'd gotten most of the trench for the brick wall dug out. I'm glad in our relationship we've got a good balance of detail oriented and, um, the complete opposite, especially during this project. I learned a lot about building garden walls, including the importance of paver base, and how incomplete our lives were without an 8x8 tamper. No end of jokes there, my favorite being Kyle's while resuming work: "You ready to get your tamp - on?"

We've got the brick part done (I'll take some more pictures tomorrow), and I've bought a tiller to break up the beautiful, sticky clay that plagues Richardson.

Next step: Soil amending!

Josh Rosenthal Interview

I recently had the super cool opportunity to interview a musician named Josh Rosenthal. He's the husband of my friend Becky,  who I met on a Campus Crusade summer project in Spain. If y'all know anything about me, you know that I'm a die-hard for live music and supporting up-and-coming musicians, so when Becky approached me about doing the interview I was so excited! She sent me three of his CDs and they spent a week in my car on repeat. What I found was a refreshing depth of character that made me think and some really good guitar playing. You can get his music on iTunes, and from his website. In fact, before reading the interview, you should go dip your toes in at his MySpace page.

So here you go, the very first Monday's Mellifluous Music interview:

What in the world made you want to become a musician in the first place?

I either wanted to be a doctor, pastor or musician.  Oddly enough I found the things I desired in medicine and ministry to come together as one in music.  I can write songs and use them as instruments of healing in the lives of the people I love.

I met Becky on a Campus Crusade trip to Spain when we were in college and next thing I heard, she was marrying you! I enjoyed the songs on your CDs that were obviously about your relationship because they were honest. What’s y’alls story?

We dated for three months before getting engaged.  But we knew of each other for years.  We went to junior high and high school together but never noticed.  She was the hot popular girl who drove a Jeep Wrangler and I was the punk kid who drove 1984 Mercury.  We didn’t really run in the same circles.  Once we were both home for the holidays.  It was love at 3,872^nd sight.  We don’t notice each other until exactly the right time and we got married within the year.

You’re right.  A lot of my songs start from Becky and me.  We’ve got a great marriage, but we work hard at it.  We want to use our mistakes to teach other people what to avoid if at all possible.

A family member once described his songwriting process as “someone turning a radio on in his head.” How does your songwriting process go?

It’s funny; it really has little to do with music.  My greatest inspiration comes from, but isn’t limited to, things like Grey’s Anatomy.  Its writers are geniuses.  Their story lines are so specific yet so universal.  That’s what I want to do with my songs.  If a circumstance in life strikes me and makes me feel a strong emotion, I try to capture it in a song.  If music didn’t move me the way it does, I’d be content in any profession that provides people cathartic outlets for healing.

On a scale of 1-100, how much do you like playing live shows? What’s your favorite and least favorite part?

100.  Some guys I know love the studio and play shows out of necessity.  I’m the opposite.  I’m intrigued by moments.  So far I’ve only been able to capture so much in the studio.  But at a concert you can create a moment with a song that moves people.  There is something special about a live show that allows for emotional moments. 

My least favorite part?  Setting up gear and tearing it down.

How do you think your style has evolved since you started recording? What have been your biggest influences in this?

One listen to each album shows a pretty major evolution in the sound. But, more than anything, my style has changed because I know what I want to say. Every artist has to have a message. Early on, for me, it was “hey, listen to me.” Now it has more to do with truly singing meaningful things to people. I try to tap into those universal pains and bring hope to them.

Where do you want to be personally and professionally in the next 5 years?

I hope to have strong followings outside the Rocky Mountain region. I’d like to double the amount of albums I sell every year. If a label opportunity comes along, I’ll explore it, but it will not be a barometer of my success.

Because I’m also from a small town and can totally relate to “Gotta Get Out” I was wondering, how do you think coming from a small town has shaped your worldview?

Great question. Yes, I give Lubbock a hard time in the same manner I give Ben Robie a hard time. Jokes at his expense are entertaining but ultimately I love the guy. I owe my ability to hold meaningful conversations to my Lubbock upbringing. I used to joke that people from larger towns have more to entertain them.  In Lubbock, all we had was conversations. We sit in a room and talk for hours on end. That would be our evening activity. To answer your question, it shaped my worldview by helping value conversations with people.

Why Utah?

Google it and look at the pictures.

On the back of Renaissance, there’s a peek of a tattoo on the inside of your right arm. What is it and what does it signify?

It says “ALIVE”. My friend Asher and I got tattoos together in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. The whole time I got mine, he was singing Pearl Jam’s song by the same name. A lot of people survive or barely get by, but how many people are truly alive? I want to be fully alive.

How would you classify your music genre-wise and how do you set yourself apart from other “boys-and-their-guitars”?

I’m Americana/Folk. Those who subscribe to he “boys and their guitars” image don’t have long careers. They may get popular, but they burn out quickly. The longest lasting careers are usually tied to the meaningful message of the artist. Any popular song in my genre has lyrics that resonate with people. I like to think the marriage of my message and my live show set me apart from the average singer/songwriter.

What was your inspiration for “Bless the Fire”?

I complain a lot when life is difficult. Once the difficulty passes and I’m stronger for it, I speak highly of life’s challenges. Bless the Fire was my attempt at loving a really challenging situation while in the middle of it. It’s easy to look back and say hard times are good. But it’s another to say they’re good if you’re living through the death of a loved one or something equally as tragic. I want to joyfully accept what life gives me when it gives it to me.

I think you’ve got a lot going for you in the talented and inspired department and am excited for whatever you’re going to put out next. What do you have coming up next for you musically?

Thanks. I’m releasing four new albums this year – August 18, September 15, October 13 and November 27. I’ll be doing a lot of traveling in the fall to support their releases.

Jakers

This is what happens the day after you take your dog for a run in the morning, to daycare all day, and let him play with his girlfriend (the Hower's dog, Nutmeg) all night:

Speaking of pets, I know we've been talking a lot about getting a second dog, but...um...we really want chickens. K has found a really cute design for a chicken coop, and with the plans we have to start in on some sweet flowerbeds in the back yard and the recent research I've done regarding the awesomely nitrogenous-ness of chicken poo and how good it is for plants, well...we're getting chickens first.

Luckily, our local nursery is quite progressive and is not only hosting chicken how-tos AND a local farmer who raises chickens for just such purposes, so we're kind of excited. The next month we'll be putting in some new flower beds and constructing the coop, the earliest we'd be getting chickens will be around August 9th (coincidentally the same time they'll be showing "Mad City Chickens" at NHG).

We've decided to start with 3 chickens that lay brown eggs and then once we get the hang of things, we'll add an Americana/Auracana chicken. Why? Well, because this kind of chicken lays green and blue eggs, of course!

Dang...

So, I definitely got 3-day ACL tickets a few months back, and have been looking forward to it ever since. Last night, I found out that my hubs' company trip in Dallas (staying at a swank hotel) is going to be that exact same weekend. At first blanch I have no clue what to do. Ideas, anyone? What would you do?

How does my garden grow? Haphazardly.

One of the good memories I have of my dad from growing up was our annual attempts at tomato and cucumber farming. If I couldn't grow anything else, I knew I could grow tomatoes. In fact, one recent father's day, I gave him a huge palette of tomatoes I had grown from seed on the back porch of our (former) apartment, because I had started them from seed, not thinking all the seeds would take, and ending up with like, 50 little seedlings.

This year, I decided to veer from the cherry tomato variety and try my hand at some big momma beefsteaks. Of course, I get them planted and then 3 weeks later my sweet elderly neighbor who's been here forever informed me that they wouldn't fruit 'cos it gets too hot here.

I held up hope for months though, marveling at how quickly they grew from 1' to 5' in a matter of weeks, carefully perusing the internet for tips on pruning and staking, dutifully fertilizing with Garrett Juice.

A couple weeks ago, we witnessed the (ahem) fruits of our labors, so to speak...Sadly, though, the neighbor was correct. Although there are loads of blooms on my plants, they are dropping off like crazy. 

Luckily, a local gal from North Haven Gardensblogs and just this morning guided me on what to do next...looks like the tomato plant on the right is headed for the compost pile. You can't really tell from the photo, but there are pepper plants in there that are probably aching for some face time with the sun. The plant with fruit on it we're going to keep until the four tomatoes we have ripen.

This year has been a really big education for me in gardening. I told K at the beginning that I wanted to take a "more haphazard" approach to my garden, to which he replied, "MORE haphazard? How is that even possible?" I have to say that it's been a really magical way to garden...I was pleasantly surprised when even though I planted my pretty little violas and they immediately fried in the sun, they reappeared several weeks later about 1-2 feet from where they had originally been planted. Then yesterday, upon returning home from a wedding in Houston, I saw this pretty little surprise tucked up in next to my germander! I don't know what it is or how it got there, but it's little things like that (and the two frogs who have taken up residence in various pots and plants) that keep me gardening and realize the importance of going with nature's flow.

mobile update!

I am blogging from my hubs's phone so this won't be too lengthy as posting is kinda arduous with just using one's thumbs. I had an interesting week - it ended in a score of Autistic Kids: 3, Christina: 0. I don't know what it is but every time I go to assess an autistic chikd, there is usually screaming involved. I know I still have much to learn about this population, but it gets discouraging real quick. In other news. Kids with CP and DS love me.

ugh.

"Ours is a Family Run by Women"

The title quote came from my cousin recently while we were in San Antonio celebrating my grandmother's 88th birthday (or, grandmapalooza, as it was officially christened). It is QUITE rare that we all get together, even for Thanksgiving or Christmas, because I have one fabulous sister who lives in LA (who if you've not met by now, you need to) and a cousin who is generally galavanting around the world.

Even more rare are moments when the women in our family get together to laugh and tell stories. I was struck one morning when we gathered in my grandmother's enclosed patio: the glorious matriarch and all her ladies - my mother, my step-aunt, my sisters, my niece, and me. We truly are a family of mostly women...my grandfather passed away nearly 10 years ago, leaving my uncle, my step-uncle, my brother and my cousin. But oh, what a lush, eclectic, glamorous bunch of women I have as role models!

It's funny, then, that I am also doing Beth Moore's "Esther" Bible study and the very first week was all about the fact that "it's tough being a woman in another woman's shadow." This of course made me think about all the wonderful women in my life who have influenced me in one way or another. I know that I am now myself emerging from the shadows of influence - not that they were necessarily oppressive in any way, but as the youngest for a very, very long time, one can find herself struggling to find her own independence in a family of influential women.

So anyway, I've been thinking about this a lot over the last few weeks as I have slowly started realizing my own strengths and deep passions, that have all been crafted over the course of my life and led me to who I am. This has all been a product of finishing graduate school and suddenly hitting the wall of WHAT'S NEXT!? and being generally floundery in any sort of decision forward. But this morning, the last line of week 1's study was this: "it's tough being a woman in another's shadow, but sometimes, there in the hiddenness, God builds a woman she'd never otherwise become."

Huh.