Phew!

Two weeks ago, the adolescent girls I work with were all sunshine and bunnies and flowers and last week they WORE ME OUT with all the new admits, the attitudes, and the FOUR attempts to break out. This week we're back to rainbows and butterflies, which is good news for my blood pressure.

My Monday groups usually are a test-the-waters group, so yesterday I gathered ideas from a packet I got from the folks up in Lewisville ISD. We played sound and music games and tossed around a talking ball. The coolest things that happened were that there were several girls who were not participating in group, so when it got around to be their turn, I asked if they'd like to join. A few times they said no, but eventually everyone snuck into the group and started participating. The next cool thing that happened was that we played a game with the ball where the girls in the circle had to throw it to each other, and who ever caught it had to look at the star under their left thumb and see what the category was, like Sea Animals or Famous Band Leaders, etc. Then we went around the circle seeing how many things in the category we could name. Whoever couldn't come up with something had to say something nice about the person who threw the ball. Well, the universe worked it out so that two girls who were having drama on the unit had to say something nice about each other (and the other girl had to say thank you). It was glorious. Thanks, universe.

Indiana Jones and the Outlets of Doom

Dude. It's been a long while since I've been to the San Marcos outlet stores but oh my glory...I had forgotten how great they were...the prices! Why the heck would anyone shop at a mall? I got some sweet deals and thought my day was done and then turned around and ladies, there is a VS outlet. It's so amazing I can't even put it into words. Just...go.

Why am I not tired?

This weekend was my dad's postponed 60th birthday party and it was a jammie packed two days of awesome. Saturday morning I got in from a bachelorette party in Austin at 3am and slept a glorious 7 hours before waking up to run some errands, that included getting the most incredible eyebrow wax on the planet from a place in NB called Model Nails that has spoiled me from any other nail place ever because they are JUST THAT AWESOME.

Saturday ended on the couch with my dad and stepmom singing through my song book - my dad is a HUGE Doobie Brothers fan, so I learned Black Water for his birthday and he got all excited. Today was awesome (I'm going to try to use this word as much as possible in this post) again for many reasons, the first being that I woke up at 8:30am, wrote in my journal, then promptly hit the snooze button on myself and woke up at 11. Hung around, watched a little So You Think You Can Dance marathon on MTV and then hit the Comal County Fairgrounds (insert "YEE-HAW!" as appropriate) to check out the rodeo because it was, in fact, bull riding day. My favorite day, in case you were wondering.

As I was looking around the grandstands I was trying to figure out how I would blog about the experience (so lame, in case you were wondering if I realized that) and it wasn't so much the uproarious applause for McCain and converse me-and-three-other-people cheering for Obama that struck me. No, the feeling that I had was...contentment. I know, weird, especially considering I was hanging out with my dad doing something we hadn't done since before he'd turned into this really mean guy that I didn't care to know (we've come a long way). I also liked the feeling that nothing had changed since I'd last been to the rodeo, and I knew that when I bring my kids out there, it'll still be the same. When I looked around, I saw a really beautiful, strong tradition filled with simple people who work really hard their whole lives and who are really, genuinely happy. Happy with their faith, their family, and their cowboy hats and pearl snap shirts and the girls who wear sparkley chaps and trick ride.

Beauty in simplicity. Like the feeling I got when holding the 9-week-old son of a friend who I'd known since I was that age. It didn't matter that we hadn't kept in touch over the last few years in the least bit. I love that I'm from a small town kind of place, it makes me appreciate the rest of the world.

Political Stuff

After lots and lots of thinking and listening to debates and policies and bickering and whatnot from the Republicans and Democrats, I'm seriously going to start getting information on the independent party(ies?).

I get tickled every time my suuuuuper conservative family sends me anti-Obama stuff.

What's With Today, Today?

When writing a thesis, there's these things you do to make sure that your data is solid. Like a little thing called inter-rater reliability. What that is is where multiple people give the same test to make sure it is valid. I had the three teachers of the class I worked with administer a pretest-posttest test and today when I was looking at the scores I realized that instead of each person scoring it, they all. looked. exactly. the same. As in, they're all just copies of one person's.

I figured this out, cried a bit, then had to go do a session with a kid that is currently refusing pretty much everything for God knows why...it is just MY day today.

Movin' On Up to the North Side...

I'm moving to Round Rock in the next couple weeks - there are a myriad of reasons, but the main ones are that I can help friends as they move out of their house plus I can focus better at this house 'cos it's outside Austin. Sounds a little silly I know, but to top it off I've been getting weebed about being by myself. Last night a shadow freaked me out. Sigh.

Heavier Things

Don't you hate it when someone you love is having a hard time and all you want to do is give them a hug and take them out for some coffee and a good cry but they're too far away? Ugh.

Quilt-O-Rama

I am looking for some quality yarn to start doing scarves again (I've got some in the works and will get pics up asap in case anyone's interested) and I ran across a store in South Austin that sells Amy Butler fabric. I want to make all the quilts in her free designs section. My inner creativity is humming with excitement!

Dreams

I had a dream last night that I was tending my garden at home - cleaning, pruning, harvesting the veggies. I miss Dallas.

Who Is This Girl?

Funny story - I went to Longhorn Alumni Band this weekend and at rehearsal during a water break I went to refill my water and KKY Pledge #1 says to me, "I'll get that for you, m'am." M'AM. Oh, Lord. KKY Pledge #2 then says to me, "I hate to disappoint 'cos I see you're a Beta and all (I was wearing my jersey) but this water has no vodka in it." I was stunned by the hilarity.

What I like about going back for LHAB besides the friends and 90,000+ people screaming for us as we march on the field and the post halftime snacks is the perspective I get from being there. College really rattled my cage in the sense that I felt like I was two people: the fun quirky praying churchey girl vs. the fun angry wild party girl. A lot of huge shifts happened for me in college and though I was involved with a Christian organization, I didn't feel like it or the people were a really genuine thing, and never really found a church where I belonged. Still working on finding my place in that whole story.

Anyway, I also had the tendency to cope with the craziness in my head all sorts of creatively destructive ways. This weekend brought a lot of that back with my own doing and I've realized that alcohol is really not a good thing for me - both sides of my family have strong alcoholism tied into it and while I've stopped using it to help me deal with situations, when I want to just have a drink and have fun I sometimes I go way overboard and end up waking up thinking, "Ugh. This is not the girl I want to be." I think I may have to give it up for awhile.

hehe...

Kyle is passed out next to me - I keep telling him to get up and take out his contacts but he just goes right back to snoozing...

A is for Awkward!

My good friend and partner in grevious crimes flew in for a conference yesterday, and I seriously couldn't have been more excited to see her. We met in college - she was a friend of my cousin's at his Rock Star University and we hit it off first when she came with him to a Scabs show and then later when she randomly called me up and asked if I wanted to drive with her to Austin for ANOTHER Scabs show from the DFW area. We've been besties ever since and I think it's funny because two of my closest girls both grew up on ranches, both have dads named Ronnie, and have both been asked if they're my sister.

We decided to meet at Lucky Lounge because my roomies were playing there last night. I thought I saw the bartender I knew who works there so after saying hi to the roomses we worked our way to the end of the bar where she was but oops, not her. So we order beverages and the guy on my left turns to me and starts chatting me up. Now, I have to stretch back into memory to remember a time that a guy this legitimately hot and not at all crazy or creepy random stranger chatted me up. He was 29, went to Columbia in NY and had just moved here last week to coach a rowing team. We keep talking and ended up in the Most Awkward Conversation Ever.

Me: "Yeah I would love to stay in Austin - I love it here - but I have to go back to Dallas in December."
Guy: "Why do you have to go back? You could stay here, find a job."
Me: "Well, I just bought a house up there...it's where I went to school and..."
Guy: "You...bought a house? Really? With...well with like friends or like..."

Wait for it...

Me: "With my husband."

Guy: "You're MARRIED?! How OLD are you?!"

Apparently he thought I was 21, which prompted an explanation of my mother and father's complete inability to age whatsoever, and then he demanded a closer look at my left hand. I guess to be fair I wasn't wearing the Bling but still. Silver band. Pay attention, buddy. What's unfortunate is that he would've been a cool guy to hang out with, show around Austin, hook him up with my single girlfriends and all, but all conversation after that point was pretty much shattered...and besides that, he was after all a 29-year-old sharking a 21 year old. Classy.

On another round of the club, a guy from across the room catches my eye, comes over and asks, "What would you say if a man told you he would marry you without a prenup?"

Let's take this moment to pause and use three of my favorite letters: WTF!? First off, who told that guy that that was flattering and or would work at all, and second...whAT?

I replied, "I'd tell him that I've already been married for two years." He got this AAHHHAAAA look on his face and shook my hand and said congratulations etc. etc. In pondering it I've decided I should have said, "I'd say he was about 7 years too late" or "I'd introduce him to my girlfriend" and point to my friend. That would've been hilarious.

Speaking of girlfriends, after that we worked our way up to the stage to dance and wave to the roommmates when I get the feeling that someone is trying to dance all up on me. I tried to think of a more intelligent way to say that, but I don't really...no...not any other way to say that. I turn around and it's a GIRL. Not only a girl, but a girl like a foot shorter than me in my heels. I even turned around to her once and told her to back up.

At this point I'm sure you're thinking "Surely the awkwardness ends here."

Right.

When the band took a break we walked outside to hang out with the Cool Band Guys and their mindless groupies, one of which comes up to my cousin and asks if she can lick his head. Yes, you read that right. So, she gives his noggin a big ol' lick and I turned him around by his shoulder and said "Really? Really." Lick Girl explained that she had a bald head fetish so she just HAD to do it, to which I replied, "OH! Well then that was TOTALLY appropriate!"

She walked off.

I would take this moment to go on a tirade about groupies and how much I hate them, but actually I kind of enjoy the lengths they go to. I also think it's hilarious that they all get this look on this face like how DARE you go anywhere NEAR my TARGET when in fact me and said target are, uh, related. But who am I to spoil the fun.

Overall, the night ended up exactly as I'd expected it to because my friend and I have this weird kind of stuff happen to us every time we're within 5 fabulous feet of each other. She's in town 'til Sunday - Austin better watch out :o)

Looking forward to my very own hurricake

So, from the looks of the recent radar, Ike is headed straight for Dallas. It started raining about 10 this morning and the wind is gusting. We spent last night perfecting our hurricane drink mix, watching the weather channel, and watching my friend's live webcam from the Heights in Houston.

The other exciting thing that's going on today is that I brought home 5 cucumbers from my farm-to-work program in Austin and Kyle decided to make bread and butter pickles!

Plans.

And yes, that was sort of a reference to Death Cab.

So, I'm driving up to Dallas tomorrow after work. It kind of works out nicely because a friend is moving up there and instead of she and her husband driving up two cars, they can drive up one and he and I can drive back together.

I'll be on the road tomorrow, say a little prayer for me :)

and I don't mean to be irreverent at all but I think I might have to make hurricanes this weekend...listen to a little Tina Turner...

Ike-carrumba!

It just gets better. My roomie's family showed up about 3:30 this morning making my total hours of good quality sleep about 4. I finally got to sleep around 5:45, then woke up at 6:15. I nearly called in to work today because my sinuses were simultaneously giving me hell, but I just had two groups today. I don't know if it was the rocking out we did in both groups or the crazy barometric pressure, but my tendonitis is so flaring up to go with my exhaustion, so some pizza, a swig or two of Dr. Pepper, a B vitamin and 800 milligrams of Ibuprofen later, I'm a new woman.

I don't know yet what we're going to do this weekend because I think I counted like 10 sleeping bodies in my house. Part of me wants to get out of this evacuee town and drive to NB, where my dad will still turn 60 on Saturday come hell or high water, literally, where someone else can cook me comfort food and hold the flashlight, but then there's the idea of getting OUT of Austin on Friday at 5pm. Maybe I can Google-maps an alternate route.

Dad's party was cancelled, too. Well, not cancelled, but postponed. It's much like the Arkansas game, really, which sucks for an accumulating list of reasons:

1. That's the same weekend as ACL. I know what you're saying..."Your dad was such an A-hole to you in the past! You should still volunteer!" Yeah, but I wouldn't have fun volunteering if I knew I was letting him down. I'm trying to be Queen of the High Road these days.

Not that it's working.

2. That's ALSO the same weekend of the postponed Arkansas game. I'm sure the volunteer coordinator is going to send me a sparkly reply, considering she's probably getting a million freak out Emails today.

3. So, coming into town in a couple weekends is going to suck because not only are there going to be 100,000+ people in town for the game, IT IS ALSO ACL FEST. It's going to annoy me more than Schlitterbahn on a Saturday.

4. That is ALSO the same weekend of a coworker's bachelorette party. We've scratched the thought of going downtown. I'm still pulling for going to a gay bar and going early, but still. It's going to be CROWded.

I'm also anxious because Kyle's driving down tomorrow morning and I just don't know what the roads and traffic are going to be like and I want him to be safe and not that I'm a HUGE worrier, I'm just...okay fine I'm worried. I need to take a page from Kelli's book and repeat that verse over and over again. To all my friends in Houston and around there, know that I'm praying for strength and peace for you, and you'd better freaking stay in touch.

Ike, you're giving me a headache.

Stress, folks. Stress.

First off, let me say today was a fantastic day at work. I have been in charge of probably the most difficult on-unit groups on the campus. They're just, quite hard to reach, they're so inside their heads, talking to voices, etc. I usually do art & music with the group because it's what the previous teacher (who quit about a month into me working there) had done. I was challenged to do something different with them, so today I brought my guitar and songbook and went to it. It was amazing. Patients who had never participated in class came over, sang, clapped...I was sweating, breathless, speechless. It was one of those days that reinforces my belief in the power of music to change people, even if it's for a little bit. That flash of life I saw today restored my hope. The rest of my groups were fine, the last one especially.

This hurricane has my stomach in knots and I'm not even in Houston. My dad's 60th birthday party that was scheduled for Saturday has been called off, and the Hubs and have been going back on forth on who should go where depending on the weather...he's got Friday off, but...should I be trying to get out of town? No clue. This sucks. Ugh I need some antacid.

Date with Myself

I took myself on a little date to a place called Book People. Before tonight, I had never been and was totally awed and amazed by the little bookstore - why would anyone ever want to go to BN after going here?! I could have spent the entire night in there, and I might actually have to start using it as a study hideaway.

Question - does eating a whole can of black beans in one sitting qualify as emotional eating?

ugh. epic fail.

Well, I was going to post on how I came home to Alan Tudyk's suitcase in my room but then I had to stay up an extra hour past exhaustion because of a recording session on the other side of the house, so I've just been cranky and introspective the last couple days.

In other news, I'm taking over the adolescent girls group at work and there's lots of random fun parties this week :)

Fail.

So Friday was nuts, hence no post, because I was at work all day (wrote an AWESOME song with a kid about a fight he was having with a fellow patient) and then got the most fabulous haircut ever and then got home late and needed a glass (or two...and a half...) of wine and a good movie with K. I didn't do much this weekend, which was good 'cos it's been a heavy couple weeks in which I feel I've really turned a corner...found my niche, my groove, whatever. More about this later.

And, did I TAKE my camera?

Not only is it a Thursday it is the first Thursday of September and therefore First Thursday down on South Congress. I went with Kate the Great and Rq and it was way too fun for words. We had the most AMAZING cupcakes (shout out, Sweet Kel) and folks were giving out free hugs on the sidewalk and I got lots of 'em and realized that I've been aching this week and I think it's for human contact. The Hubs suggested I would fold the first week in Austin because I am such a physical contact kind of girl. I didn't fold, but he's totally right (I mean, shock, right?) and I realized how much I crave that...not SO much from total strangers but just, touch in general. Speaks volumes of course, even if it's just holding hands or sitting close to someone. To me it's really, really soothing, like, that person is sharing their part of existence with you, and it's kind of a big deal in a subtle way.

Something that struck me funny tonight was that you know how...you run into people you sorta knew from college and you have the same conversation:

"Hey!"
"Hey!"
"How ARE you?! What are you doing in Austin?"
"Oh I'm great, just ___________, you know..."
"Yeah I'm just _____________...you know, we should totally hang out sometime, catch up"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah...I'm on facebook so..."
"Yeah I'm totally going to facebook you"
"Sweet"
"Yeah! Well, it was great running INTO you!"
"Yeah you too! Have a great day!"

And then you don't.

What was funnier to me though is like, you know how running into friends from school can be totally awkward? That's just silly! I mean, no matter what the drama was when in school, whether you hated each other or dated her boyfriend, thought the other person didn't like you or whatever...I mean, that stuff was silly back then and it really REALLY doesn't matter now. I've had a lot of "let it go" big neon signs from the universe lately (also, the universe I'm pretty sure was smiling at me today because babies everywhere were smiling at me and one even reached up like -pick me up!- even though I was a stranger...it was mad cute) which has really lifted some weight from me...I was literally walking around Zilker the last couple weeks visualizing myself laying down cute little handbags of resentment, satchels of anger and such. Anyway, just because you think you knew someone 4, 5, 10 years ago doesn't mean you know them now and to hold them to that is really unfair.

But we all do it.